Page 121 of Freefall

“This is great.” She gestures to the room. “But I want more.”

Hope glitters in her hazel eyes.

She might not even be standing here if she knew how much I love her or how badly I want more. Every instinct screams at me to pull her into my arms and tell her I’ve wanted the same thing since she walked back into my life. Which is why I have to physically force the next words out of my mouth. “I’m sure you think you do.”

She pulls back just enough for me to see her frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re still coming down from what we just did. You might not be thinking clearly right now.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Are you telling me I’m so drunk on your dick that I can’t possibly form a rational thought?”

“I think the term is dickmatized.” Which I only know because Allie has said it at least fifty times in reference to my sister and my best fucking friend.

Harper snorts—literally snorts—before laughing so hard she has to brace her hands on her knees. “That’s the stupidest thing I've ever heard.”

“No, it’s real.”

She pats my chest twice. “Don’t get me wrong, you know how to put it down, but you don’t have a magical dick.”

I laugh, but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. Her smile lingers for another second before it slowly fades. “I’m serious, Nate.” Her voice is softer now. “But if you need more time, that’s okay too.”

Suddenly, Declan’s closet feels more like a casket than a small bedroom. This is what I wanted. For her to be mine in every sense of the word. So why does it feel like there's something holding me back?

Blonde hair. Freckles. Blue-gray eyes. The two of us combined in the most obvious way…and yet, I didn’t even know she existed a couple of months ago.

Now that I do, I want to give Daisy everything.

Of all the voices to echo through my head, I hate that it’s Jace’s.

Have fun playing pretend, Harp. You were always good at that.

That’s what we’ve been doing. Playing house. Pretending to be this happy family when we’ve only just started to talk about what happened all those years ago.

The truth is, we haven’t even scratched the surface. She’s forgiven me for the way I acted that day, and I’ve long since forgiven her for walking away. I’ve even forgiven her for keeping Daisy a secret for so long, but we still owe it to ourselves to talk about it.

Nine years ago, I got so wrapped up in her that I lost control. I won’t make the same mistake again. Not while Daisy is standing on the sidelines watching.

So even though every primal instinct I have is screaming at me to say that I don’t need more time, that I’ve known she was it for me since she caught me pretending to smoke a cigarette, I don’t.

Instead, I nod.

“Yeah.” I stroke her hair, my heart slowly cracking as I watch the tears well in her eyes. “I think I do.”

31

HARPER

For the tiniest fraction of a second, I think there’s something wrong with my vision. I’m seeing double. I must be hallucinating the second line.

Because there’s no way I can possibly be pregnant.

I’ve been on the pill since sophomore year of high school when Mother Nature decided hemorrhaging once a month would be fun for me.

Yet there it is.

Two dark red, almost maroon lines.

I stare at the test for another minute before setting it on the bathroom counter. Luckily, there are two more tests in the box I picked up from the drugstore.