Page 9 of Her Last Breath

‘Did you ever ask her why she treated you like that?’

There was no reason to ask; Jane knew exactly why.

‘She blames me for Ed’s death.’

‘Your brother? I thought it was …’

He didn’t finish the sentence. Suicide was such a loaded word.

‘It was, but I was there when it happened. For years, she told everyone that Ed died trying to save me from drowning.’

‘You didn’t tell her what really happened?’

‘Of course I did. She chose not to believe me. Dad told me to just let her believe whatever she wanted; it was easier to deal with.’

‘Sorry, Jane. That’s shit.’

‘Yes, it really is.’

She managed a smile.

‘I just … I need to know why Ed killed himself. I could never talk about it before. This might be my last opportunity to understand what really happened.’

‘I’m here for you, anything you need.’

‘Thanks,’ she said, while swallowing what was left of the now-melted chocolate in her hands.

‘Alice Rogers is all over social media, by the way,’ he said, changing the subject purposefully. ‘They’re trying to drive up sales by peddling the single mother left two kids behind angle. There’s a local journo, Sol Brazani, writes for the Burnley Reporter. Hates us lot but I swear he has some coppers on the take; he’s always getting a march on us. Anyway, he’s taken an interest in Alice Rogers.’

‘I read his article. Seems to be telling the world it’s a suicide.’

‘He’s claiming we didn’t take the case seriously when she was reported missing,’ Sameer’s voice was grave as he spoke. ‘So, let’s make sure we’re shown to be doing everything we can.’

‘A proper budget would help.’

‘This isn’t London, Jane, resources are limited. I’m under pressure already with how much my teams cost me; every penny gets accounted for and tracked these days.’

‘No money, no resources and colleagues that hate me?’

Sameer smirked at her as they reached the lift doors.

‘Welcome to Burnley,’ he said.

Chapter 5

The putrid smell of wet mud filled Jane’s nostrils, causing bile to rise in her throat. The River Calder was deceptively gentle, peaceful now it had given up Alice Rogers’ body. Bright yellow ribbons of police tape were flapping in the breeze as Jane walked closer to the water. Her mind immediately filled with images of her brother; the police diver that fished out his lifeless body, carrying him as lake water dripped from his loose limbs; Ed laid out in the grass, so still and pale, the wailing of her mother’s grief as her desperate cries echoed through the air. Jane was powerless to control the way her brother flooded her senses whenever she was reminded of that day.

Reminded of him.

The love she felt for Ed was as vital as her own lifeblood. It was more than sibling affection, she had idolised him. Her parents barely had time for her, working and homemaking, so he had picked up the slack, forever telling her she was so annoying but making sure she was safe, happy. A mouthy child, Jane often landed herself in trouble for some of the things she said, but Ed was always on hand to make sure no one harmed his little sister. Including the school bullies who had dismissed her gentle giant of a brother, only to end up with black eyes.

Jane had never thought twice about spending time with Ed, who used to let her tag along, even while complaining about it. It was just habit for her to follow him wherever he went, including that last day. Curious as to why Ed hadn’t taken her with him, she had followed him out of the house without him knowing. He was heading to the small lake where they had spent many afternoons, fishing or skimming stones, swimming or lying on the grassy banks, drinking in the sun.

The park was only ten minutes’ walk from their home. Thinking it would be a good laugh to surprise Ed – scare him even – Jane had kept her distance. Hidden away in the long grass behind a coppice of trees, she’d watched as Ed stood on the edge of the water, staring ahead. She waited for the right time to frighten him, watching as he removed his shoes, socks and shirt, and then made his way into the dark, still lake, disappearing under the water.

She never saw him alive again.

Confused, screaming out his name, Jane knew something was wrong without really understanding what. She had gone into the water after him, but she was scared. Never the strongest swimmer, she thrashed back to the bank, shouting for help. The ensuing moments blurred in her mind: strangers jumping into the water to rescue her brother, the blue lights of the ambulance lighting up the darkening sky. Her parents were there – who had called them, she didn’t know. Her father was holding on to her, her mother in floods of tears, demanding to know why she’d gone into the lake, why Ed had followed her.