Page 92 of Bad for You

She motioned to the TV, to some chick flick playing, and blushed.

“Fuck, I love you.” It just came out, there was no stopping it. I didn’t want to.

Her entire body jolted, then she froze like a startled rabbit.

I moved then, pushing the coffee table out of the way and dropping down in front of her. I wrapped my arms around her hips and tugged her forward so I was tucked between her spread thighs. Back in my favorite place. Her scent filled my head, and I breathed in deep, needing more.

She stared down at me, lips parted. Another tear streaked down her cheek. “Jesse, you can’t… What are you doing?” Her lips quivered. “You can’t be here.”

I cupped her face. “I know, Lila.”

Her whole body started to tremble. “What do you know?”

“That my father threatened you, threatened me. It’s over. He’s gone. I’m safe. We’re all safe.”

“He’s gone? But how? He said…he said he was going to kill you, that if I told you…”

“It’s over, Bambi. That’s all you need to know.”

Her hand lifted, shaking, tentative, and she cupped the side of my face. “Did you…did you hurt him?”

“Yeah, I fucking hurt him. But I didn’t kill him, Lila. I wanted to. You have no idea how much. But taking his colors, taking the club from him, is the worst thing we could do.”

Her hands clutched at me. “The thought of anything happening to you…I had to do what he said.”

“I know. I know that now. You were trying to protect me.”

She nodded, her eyes swimming with more tears. “He hurt you, didn’t he? When you were a little boy. And he hurt your mom?”

I leaned in and pressed my face against her throat, wrapping my arms tight around her, needing her to ground me. “Yeah. Yeah, he did.” I looked up at her, taking in her beautiful face. “I didn’t want you to know that, I was ashamed of that darkness, the ugliness of my past. He told you, didn’t he, what I do for the club?”

Her lips trembled. “Yes.”

“I learned to cut off my emotions, to shut it down when I was young. I closed off to protect myself. I tried to do that again when you left me, but I couldn’t. I can’t change who I am, what I am…what I’ve done, but you…you made me feel again, Lila. I love you. Fuck, I love you so much. Losing you almost killed me. I’ll never hurt you. I’m not him, baby, I’m not like him.”

“I know you’re not.”

How could I convince this sweet girl to accept me, to have me in her life after the shit I’d put her through? I had to try. I couldn’t lose her again. “The club, they’re my family, but I…”

She brushed her thumb over my lips, stopping me. “I’ve lived most of my life pretending to be someone else. Thinking that who I was wasn’t good enough.”

“Lila…”

“I didn’t mean the things I said when I left you. I didn’t mean them, Jesse. I don’t want to change you,” she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you exactly as you are.”

“You do?”

She nodded, crying and smiling at the same time.

“Then kiss me,” I rasped.

She leaned in and I thrust my fingers into her dark hair, holding her tight, the way we both liked, and I kissed her deep, pushing my tongue into the heat of her mouth. Her taste made me dizzy, hungry.

I kissed her until we were both breathless, then stood, pulling her up with me. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment.”