Page 56 of Knight’s Salvation

He realized he couldn’t make that promise. “If that happens, I’ll get a message to you, yeah?”

She bit her lip and turned pink. “Okay.”

“What is it, Mia?”

“I’m sorry. I, ah, fell asleep again before you got to…before you…you know.”

Fuck.

He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “I got everything I needed watching you, giving it to you. I promise you that.”

She frowned, little lines creasing her brow. “But I want to do that for you. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

Yeah, he loved hearing that, knowing that he pleased her, made her feel good—that she wanted to do the same for him. It was better than any orgasm he could have.

But he didn’t want her to know the truth, know he could only ever be half a man with her, could never give her all of him. He wanted to smash something in that moment, kill something—someone.

Whatever time they had, he wanted it to be good. He didn’t want this hanging over their heads. “I want that, too. But”—he scrubbed his hands over his face—“we can’t take this, what we have, there. We can’t do more than we did last night and this morning in my bed.”

She bit down on her lower lip and pulled the covers higher. “You don’t…you don’t want me?”

He wanted to punch the flaccid piece of flesh dangling between his legs and scream work, motherfucker. Instead be took her face in his hands. “I wish so fucking bad that I could have that with you. I would give anything to be that for you. Don’t ever doubt that I want you, because I fucking crave every inch of you. This has nothing to do with you.”

She stared up at him, eyes round and confused—hurt. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s shit going on that’s bigger than you and me.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He needed her to understand. “Please, Mia, just…I need you to accept this.”

She took his hand and threaded her fingers with his. He could still see the uncertainty there, but she tried to hide it from him. He hated it, didn’t want her hiding anything from him.

“Okay. I don’t understand what’s going on with you, but I said last night that I’ll take whatever you can give me, and I meant it.”

He wanted to cry with relief, and at the same time despised himself for what he was doing to her. Selfishly taking what he wanted. But he couldn’t lose this little piece of heaven Mia was gifting him. Not yet, not until he had to. “You’ll be here when I get back?”

“Yes.” She lifted his hand and kissed his palm. “I’ll be here.”

Jesus, he didn’t deserve this—didn’t deserve her, not when he would have to leave. “Thank you.”

He kissed her goodbye, savoring the taste and feel of her mouth. Who knew kissing could feel so damn good? He would never get enough, and wanted to keep on kissing Mia until the day he died.

And it looked like he was getting his wish.

After one last look at the rumpled female in his bed, he made his way to the control room. He planned on getting through this briefing as soon as possible, because he wasn’t going to waste whatever time he had left with Mia, not one fucking second.