Page 55 of Ruthless Protector

The sound of the lower apartment door banging shut was a dull thud in the darkness.

Of course he didn’t want to see me. I made sure of that.

He’d probably be in his bedroom soon, maybe the bathroom. All that strength, those bulging muscles shifting as he showered, or climbing into bed. I wondered if he’d look up, if he’d think of me a couple floors above him.

Those thoughts scared me. I knew better than to think like that, to let myself imagine a scenario where it wasn’t just Tilly and me. That wasn’t for me, and not just because Rebecca had made me promise. Love, relationships, they were twisted, they hurt, they lied. Everyone, apart from Tilly, had cut me in a way that was deep and had left an ugly scar.

Even my mom. She’d tried to hide it, but she’d slipped up more than once, had made it clear she resented Rebecca and I, that deep down she blamed us for our father leaving, for the shitty life she had. Then later, she hadn’t tried to hide it at all. She’d left when we were old enough, like our dad.

So yeah, those scars still hurt. One more cut, and I knew there’d be nothing left. The last of me would bleed out, leaving me an empty shell.

I’d been discarded one too many times. And honestly, I couldn’t take another hit.

That’s why I’d shoved Jude away, why I’d shoved harder than he deserved.

He terrified me.

The damage he could do terrified me.

But what terrified me more was ignoring this thing—this huge, buzzing, electric tension between us, this hunger that was all consuming, because I knew deep in my gut, I’d never feel anything like this again.

But worse, that I’d never know what it was to be wanted the way I knew Jude wanted me.

* * *

Jude’s text came just like he said it would, and I hovered by the front window, waiting for him and Tilly to get home. I heard Jude’s bike before I saw it. And when they came into view, my breath stuck in my throat. Tilly wasn’t on the back, Jude had her in front of him, the solid, strength of his thighs and arms caging her in, big hands on the handlebars, making sure she was safe.

I had the door open and was coming down the stairs before he’d turned off the engine. He kicked down the stand and swung his leg over the back, then lifted Tils off after him.

I could see under the helmet she was wearing, which was smaller, and obviously made for a child, that she was smiling, wide, bigger than I had ever seen her smile.

My heart felt like it might burst in my chest from the sight of it.

Those big hands of Jude’s were undoing the strap under her chin, and he was smiling just as wide, sexy straight white teeth, flashing. He put the helmet on the seat and as he was turning back, Tilly threw her arms around him.

Jude looked taken aback for a split second, then he wrapped one of his arms around her narrow shoulders and gave her a squeeze. His head lifted, eyes coming to mine, and he gave me a chin lift. He was still angry with me. I didn’t blame him.

It didn’t matter, though, because I was close to running to him, and throwing myself in his arms, like my niece just had.

Tilly spun to me, eyes bright, face animated, a picture of pure joy.

“Did you see me!”

I grinned. “I saw you, baby.”

“You should have seen it. Jude pulled up and while he was putting on my helmet, I saw Blake heading to the bus. I told Jude which one he was and when he walked past us, Jude said his name. That’s it, nothing else, then lifted me onto his bike.” She giggle-snorted. “You should have seen Blake’s eyes go all big. Then he ran to the bus and got on, but I could see him watching as we rode off. It was so cool.”

“Wow, it sounds like it,” I said, struggling to find words, to focus on my niece, now that Jude was right in front of me, because this guy, this awesome guy, was not a fake, or a pretender. Jude was the real deal. There was no more doubt, not anymore. And he’d just gone out of his way to make my niece’s day, to make her smile when he didn’t have to. I mean, it wasn’t like he was trying to impress me. Why would he, after I’d kicked him in the teeth repeatedly.

“Can I go tell Fay?” Tilly said.

“Sure thing.”

I watched her tear off, flying up the stairs to Fay’s brownstone to pound on her front door. It opened and Tilly’s excited, “You won’t believe what just happened,” reached us before she went in and slammed the door behind her.

I turned back to Jude; he was watching me, expression wary.

“Thank you, for that, for…you made her smile. I don’t think she’s ever…” I had to stop, when embarrassingly, my eyes started to sting. “She hasn’t had a lot to smile about lately.”