Page 92 of Beautiful Killer

He dragged in a deep breath through his nose.

I squeezed my thighs together. I’d made a decision while I watched him out there, an unwise one for sure since I didn’t know whether or not we had a future together, but I couldn’t make myself change my mind, not now. So I didn’t bring up the reason I’d come down here, the conversation I’d wanted to have. I didn’t want to go there, not when the outcome of that conversation might result in him never touching me again. For us to work, I needed to know he was with me for me and not just because I was having his baby. If Zeke didn’t love me . . . this wouldn’t work. If I asked and he didn’t feel the same way I did, I’d have to walk away. I wasn’t ready for that possibility. Not yet. So, pushing past my nerves, I said, “You asked me . . . at the steak house if I had any other cravings?” My words came out so quietly, I may as well have been whispering, but Zeke still heard.

“Yeah,” he said, voice suddenly thick.

Was I really doing this? Was I really going to say it?

“When a woman is pregnant, well, her hormones are kind of wacky.” Yep, apparently I was. Using my raging hormones as an excuse was probably cowardly, even if it was kind of true. I wanted Zeke just like I always did; the pregnancy just meant I had a harder time controlling it. Controlling myself. That’s what I was telling myself, anyway. Getting myself off wasn’t the same, because it wasn’t Zeke. Being around him was pure torture. A temptation I couldn’t resist anymore.

He took a step toward me. “Okay.”

“Apparently, in the first trimester especially, a woman’s . . . um, sex drive can be . . . intense . . .”

He took another step closer, so he was right in front of me. He stared down at me, those dark eyes locking on mine. “You need me to get you off, Sunshine?”

The breeze blew off the ocean. It was cool, but it didn’t come close to cooling my overheated skin. “Yes,” I rasped. “Please.”

He stayed where he was, reached down, and worked off his wet suit. He was wearing a pair of shorts underneath. When he kicked the wetsuit aside, he took my hand in his and led me across the deck and back into the house. My pulse was racing as he locked up, then silently headed upstairs, my hand still firmly in his.

Zeke

Finally.

Shit, I was shaking I wanted her so bad.

Her fingers clung to mine, small and warm, as I led her upstairs, and I knew there was no way she wanted to let go. She hadn’t given me an answer to what I’d said yesterday morning. I’d felt almost sure she’d turn me down, that she’d choose to go it alone rather than be with a fuck up like me. Looked like I was wrong. Seemed we were both done fighting. What we had, this heat, could not be denied.

I wanted to be there for Sunny, to take care of her, and our baby. Be the man she needed for as long as she wanted me. I couldn’t let her walk out of my life. She was mine. They were mine. And while we were here, I’d indulge in this little bubble of happiness with Sunny. I’d let my parents think their fucked-up son was whole. My mother deserved that. Shit, Sunny deserved that. Somehow I had to find a way to live with my guilt, live with what I’d done, and be what Sunny needed.

The task seemed huge right then, so I pushed it aside and gripped Sunny’s hand tighter.

We reached the top of the stairs and I pulled her into the bedroom behind me and turned to face her. That big moon out there tonight shone right through the bedroom window and lit her up like a goddamn angel. “You’re so beautiful,” I said.

Now that I’d made my decision to keep her, to not let her go, it lifted the shackles I’d bound myself with when it came to her. I’d held myself back, bitten my tongue when the urge to say shit like that rose up, which it did often. I couldn’t do it anymore. She was the one piece of happiness I’d allowed myself, and I planned to let Sunny know just how fucking grateful I was for her. What a gift she was.

“So are you,” she said.

Christ. The woman made my heart pound. She was wearing a loose-fitting nightie and I didn’t waste time lifting it up and off, flinging it across the room. My gaze dropped to her breasts. Shit, yeah, fuller. She’d had plenty to start with, but now? I cupped them in my hands and they overflowed, heavy and hot. Sexy as hell.

She huffed out a little breath. “Cantaloupes, right?” she said softly.

“Jesus, Sunny, you were the most exquisite sight I’d seen before . . . but, now? Fuck.” My gaze dropped, and shit, I felt a tremor slide thought me. Her underwear dipped below her belly button, and her stomach, though still small, was obviously more rounded. I slid a hand lower, looking back up at her. “You’re already showing.”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

My legs just sort of . . . gave out, and I dropped to my knees. Something about seeing that, seeing the changes to her body for myself, hit me like a rogue wave. A startled cry burst from her lips and her hands went to my hair to hang on when I leaned in, nuzzling that firm round bump.

“Fuck, Sunshine,” I said against her vanilla scented skin. “Look at you.” My hands went to her hips. “Beautiful doesn’t cover it.” I dipped my head lower, dragging my nose across the front of underwear. I could smell how much she wanted me, feel how wet she was, the fabric already soaked. I looked up at her as I gripped the sides or her panties and dragged them down her thighs. “I’m gonna make you feel good, darlin’, I promise you that.” The words felt scraped from my raw throat.

I hated that because of one moment, one hesitation, I wasn’t the man I once was. That she might only ever get half of me. That the future that should have been mine, ours, had been ripped to shreds and taped back together with pieces missing. I buried my face against her pussy and breathed her in, breathed past the gutting pain of knowing that she wasn’t getting the best of me. Knowing what she was missing out on, but not seeing any other way around it.

I rose up, lifted her in my arms, and lay her down on the bed.

“Zeke . . .” she rasped.

“Not going anywhere, beautiful.” I dropped back to my knees at the foot of the bed, gripped her hips, dragged her toward me, and draped her legs over my shoulders. Gripping her ass, I pressed my mouth against her slick lips, dragging my tongue through her slit, fucking giving her everything I had. She cried out and her fingers were back in my hair, fisting it hard enough to hurt. I loved it, loved that I could push her past her control, that I was giving her exactly what she needed.

I stayed there, between her thighs until she arched her back, until she gave me what I needed and I heard her scream my name. I stood and shoved down my shorts, my cock springing free, hard as hell.