Page 15 of Beautiful Killer

I didn’t know what it was about me that was so unlovable, but there it was.

That’s what it boiled down to.

It would probably sound silly to anyone else. Crazy. But I’d lived it, lived through it. If you were ignored enough, overlooked enough, it was hard not to miss what the universe was telling you. It stopped hurting so much when I gave up on it, when I gave up on love.

I was content. And I’d take the scraps of happiness that came my way and never take them for granted. I didn’t need anything else. I had my shop, my home, and while it lasted, I had Zeke.

A smile spread across my face. Happiness. That’s what he gave me. The man gave until I could barely breathe and my limbs were soggy noodles.

Zeke had been back nearly every night since he’d shown up at my door a couple weeks ago. He didn’t talk much, sometimes not at all, but God, he made me feel beautiful . . . wanted. He gave me something to look forward to when I hadn’t even known I needed it.

This thing between us, it wasn’t going anywhere, he told me so himself, and I was okay with that. I didn’t want anything more. Eventually, he would leave. Like everyone else. So I’d live for the moment, enjoy every second we had together, and when it was over, I’d go back to being content, to making my jewelry, and wait for the next piece of happiness to come my way.

The door opened again and I looked up, a smile on my face. Julia walked in and my smile slipped before I could stop it.

“This is a surprise,” I said, trying to inject some lightness in my voice, even though I knew why she was here.

“Hey. Just thought I’d pop in, see what’s going on?” She moved around the shop, pretending to be interested in my jewelry.

I watched her for several seconds, that happiness I’d felt evaporating.

I just couldn’t do this with her anymore. The pretending, the fake smiles, the small talk until she asked for what she really wanted from me. I don’t know what it was, why today, but I was done. I was done being used by her.

Taking a deep breath, I moved out from behind the counter and walked over to her. I opened my mouth to speak, but she got there before me.

“I need more money,” she said, her posture already defensive.

How could I still get disappointed? How? When I knew this was why she was here, when I knew that was all she wanted from me. “Did you ever even like me?” I said, the words just pouring from me.

She frowned. “What?”

Now I’d taken it there, I couldn’t take it back, I didn’t want to. “Did you ever like me?” I repeated. “Did you ever consider me your sister?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” she said, looking at me like I was crazy, but also uncomfortable, maybe even guilty.

God, why did I bother? I shook my head and went back to the cash register. She rushed over and I handed her what cash I had. Three hundred dollars. “This is it,” I said to her. “I’m not giving you anymore money, Julia.”

She looked down at the cash like I’d handed her a used tissue. “This isn’t enough.”

“It’s all I’m giving you.”

Her eyes went wide, almost panicked. “Dad would want . . .”

“Dad wouldn’t care.” I offered her a sad smile. “He didn’t even know us, either of us.” I wasn’t going to let her use my father against me, to try to guilt me, not anymore. She only called him Dad when she wanted to twist the knife, when she wanted to bend me to her will. It wasn’t happening anymore.

“What the hell’s gotten into you, Sunny?”

“I’ve decided to help you and Bobby help yourselves.” I walked to the door and held it open for her. “Get a job, Julia, and keep it.”

She stood frozen, staring at me like I’d lost it completely. Then she scowled. “You were his favorite. He left me hardly anything, he . . .”

“I was his daughter,” I said simply. “And most of the money I got came from my mother, not him, you know that. You also know that money had nothing to do with Dad, or you.”

I could see her mind working behind her eyes, trying to think of something else, another way to get me to do what she wanted. I also saw when she came up empty.

“So what?” she gritted out. “You’re done with me?”

I shrugged. “It’s up to you. I’m not going anywhere.”