Page 33 of Mountain Man

Even if I decided to try and live in one place, to put down roots, it wouldn’t be with Hank. He didn’t want me, not in a permanent way, and, God, that hurt. I guess it was my own damn fault for falling for him, for letting my feelings run away with me when I knew there were reasons, good reasons, we couldn’t work.

“Yes…good thing,” I said, and it came out as a whisper.

I took a step back, suddenly needing distance from him, before I said or did something to humiliate myself. Like throw myself at his feet, wrap my arms around his legs, and beg him to take me back with him. “Right, well, I better call my boss and tell him I’m back. I need to get groceries and…” My words were cut short by the lump lodged in my throat.

Hank’s eyes hadn’t left me, not once. He dipped his chin. “I better go find Beau.”

“Of course.” I forced a smile. “Thank you, Hank, for everything. You saved my life and I’ll never forget that.”

His whole body tightened—like he was holding himself back? That was probably wishful thinking. But then he’d made no secret that he enjoyed my company, in his bed, anyway. The attraction between us was one thing that was real, unlike my delusions of us together as anything more.

Suddenly, he was moving toward me, but he didn’t scoop me up and kiss me silly or carry me to my bed and take me one last time. He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and worked hard not to let the tears welling in my eyes spill over.

“Goodbye, Birdie.”

“Bye, Hank.”

Then he turned away and walked out the door.

His truck started a few minutes later and I walked to the window and watched him drive away.

Tomorrow, life would go back to the way it was before—no cabin in the mountains, no sitting by an open fire, no warm body beside me every night…

No Hank.

Hank

I gripped my steering wheel and forced myself to keep driving away, away from her.

“Good thing I prefer to be on my own, I guess.”

My own words ricocheted around my skull.

It was a lie.

I thought I did, before Birdie. Before I knew what it was to have her in my life. God, I’d only said it so she wouldn’t feel sorry for me, so she wouldn’t pity me. I’d seen the look in her eyes.

Pity for the recluse living alone on his mountain.

What else could it be?

I saw Beau standing on the side of the road, grocery bags by his feet, and a woman at his side, talking to him.

My brother’s arm shot out when he saw me, so I didn’t miss him. I pulled over and he put his bags in the back, climbed in, and we headed off.

“Thank God you came when you did, Nadine Cooper was starting to get handsy.” Beau said, then sat back.

I said nothing. My head was full of Birdie, of how wrong it felt driving away from her. How much I didn’t want to leave her in that small house all alone.

“Yo, Hank?”

I glanced at my brother.

His brows lifted. “I called your name like eight times.”

I shrugged.