Page 26 of Mountain Man

How could I have forgotten my brother? We always let the other know how long we’d be up here for. We took each other’s backs. Our grandfather had drummed this into us as kids. We always had a return date and if one of us didn’t show, the other went looking.

We’d never had to go looking, which was why I didn’t even think about it.

“Tonight’s our last night, and I…I want…”

What did Birdie want? I had a feeling—a strong feeling—I knew exactly what she wanted from me, and Christ, I wanted to give it to her again more than anything in the world. Over and over. Now I might never get to be with her again like that, and it was my own damned fault.

My earth had moved on its axis last night. Making love to Birdie had been life altering. My feelings for her went far beyond lust—they had before I knew what it was to slide deep inside her, but now? Christ, I wanted to give her a lot more than that, more than the physical, I wanted to give her everything.

“You can quit shoving,” Beau said. “We’re out of earshot.”

I gave him one last push for the hell of it. “Why did you have to show up tonight?”

Beau actually looked sorry. “I thought you’d fallen on your giant head and needed me to save your ass. Brother, this is not my fault. You really need to get a sat phone.”

He was right, of course. This was my own fault. Beau was only making sure I was all right. I cursed.

Beau stared at me, brows low. “What’s going on here?”

My face heated. I hated it. We’d talked about women before, but it was always Beau doing the talking and me doing the listening. That’s the way it had been our whole lives, and not just when it came to women.

“You’re sleeping with her?” Beau asked.

“No, I’m—” I cut myself off, not able to lie.

Beau winced. “Shit, Hank, I’m sorry, man. I messed up your night.”

I shoved my hand through my hair. “I don’t even know if that was going to happen again tonight. I mean, we’ve done it—” I cut myself off again, feeling uncomfortable, something I never had around my brother.

Beau grinned again. Bastard. “She’s a beautiful woman.” His head tilted to the side. “You like her, don’t you? A lot.”

There was no point lying, Beau could read me, just like I could him. “Yeah.”

“You going to see her again?”

I shook my head. “What’s the point? Birdie likes to move around. She likes new places, new people. She said herself she couldn’t live like this.”

Beau thumped me on the shoulder. “Shit, man, I’m sorry.”

My brother got it, he understood. He might work on a ranch during the summer, but that was only to save enough money to finish building his house. I’d inherited our grandfather’s place, and we’d split the land, but my brother needed his own home.

Beau had left for a while, tried life off the mountain, and had quickly worked out it wasn’t for him. So, yeah, he got it. If we ever decided to settle down, get married, and have kids, we had to find a woman who could handle this life, or we’d end up like our father.

“I hardly know her. We’ve spent a week and a half up here together, that’s all. She’ll go back to her life, and I’ll carry on with mine. I’m just…” I shrugged. “I feel something for her and I wanted her to be—I wanted…” I cursed again. Taking about this was so goddamn hard.

“You wanted to spend one last night with her.” Beau finished for me.

I dipped my chin.

“For what it’s worth, the way she was looking at you in there, she wanted the same thing.”

I thought he might be right.

But there was nothing for it. I’d have to go back to life without her.

I’d have to go back to settling for fantasies.

* * *