Page 90 of Shattered King

My stomach tightened, clamped down into a hard, pain-filled ball. Oh God, he couldn’t get past it.

I blinked up at him, fighting that feeling of goddamn helplessness I loathed so much.

“I need you to know where my head’s at.” He brushed my hair back so tenderly, my heart squeezed. “My woman was abused, violated, and I wasn’t there to protect her. I understand that anger now. The anger the old man had to fight every day. Only he took it out on the wrong people, those he should have taken care of. I’m not angry at you, and I’m sure as fuck not angry at Josh.”

“You blame yourself?”

“Lulu, yeah.”

I cupped his face. “There’s nothing you could’ve done to stop it.”

“This isn’t something you can help me with.” He shook his head. “I’ve got to work through this on my own, but I need you to know what I’m fighting here.”

“You’re drowning in guilt?”

“I’m drowning in guilt,” he confirmed.

Hearing that, it killed me. Killed me.

“I’m trying to get a handle on it. But babe, you know I’m protective. I’m also possessive as hell. I’m those things on a good day, but this shit we’re in the middle of, it amplifies all of it. I’m going to do my best not to let that touch you, but sometimes I’m not going to be able to keep a lid on it . . . like last night. I’m gonna need you to cut me some slack.”

“I can do that.” And I could.

He kissed the top of my head, and tucked my head under his chin.

“You’re drowning in guilt?” I repeated against his skin.

“Lulu . . .”

“Please . . . don’t do that.”

“Babe . . .”

I pulled back, and his eyes on me were intense but soft. I shook my head. “I want you to stop it.”

He stared, then his lips lifted on one side. “Sweetheart.”

“I’m serious, Hunter. I want you to cut it out. Guilt is a useless emotion. A waste of energy. You have nothing to be guilty for, and I’ve just decided I’m going to spend every day making you so happy you forget all about it, do you understand?”

The smile got bigger. He leaned in and brushed his lips across mine. “I’ll look forward to that.”

I knew he was humoring me. Hunter was wracked with guilt. He blamed himself for what happened to me, to us. Jesus, I hated that.

He’d opened up, told me what he was dealing with, and I was glad. But I was afraid too. If he couldn’t let it go, eventually it would eat him up inside.

Hunter

Lulu sat beside me at the bar sipping her Coke. The casino was loud and it as hard to talk, so I sat back and enjoyed the view while we waited. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright and alert, hair thick and gorgeous down her back. I didn’t miss the way other men looked at her, even if she didn’t seem to notice. Lulu only had eyes for me. It made me want to drag her against me and beat my fist against my chest like a fucking caveman. My woman was fucking stunning, and I wasn’t the only one to notice.

My eyes drifted over her curves. Jesus, Lulu had always had an amazing body, but after having our son—the little extra she was carrying—shit, it looked good on her.

I thought about her lying in my arms this morning, how much I loved waking up with her. She’d scared the shit out of me yesterday, but at least some good had come from it. She’d opened up to me and I had to her. She finally knew the truth, the reason my father had hated me. And hopefully now she got where I was coming from, why I would never let her or Josh down. I’d wanted her to know why I was so sure of my feelings for that little boy, no matter how he was made. I’d been that kid; I knew how that felt. I hoped now she believe it, that I’d never let what happened get between us like my old man had with my mom.

A grin lifted her sexy lips, and she leaned closer to talk over the noise. “What are you looking at?”

I turned into her, speaking against her ear. “Your mouth.”

She pulled back, frowning. “Do I have something on my lips?”