Page 100 of Swerve (Boosted Hearts 1)

I slid my hand up his arm, to the side of his strong neck. “Does this mean you’re okay with me working for him?”

His eyes closed for a second then were back on me. “Not even a little bit.”

My knee-jerk reaction was to push away from him, but I kept a lid on it, determined not to overreact, not until we’d properly talked this out. “I know this is hard for you. But it’ll get easier. We’ll work it out together.”

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat. “I haven’t changed my mind, Ruby. I don’t want you working for Harry anymore.”

I did pull away now, anger, hurt, so many emotions firing though me. “Do you have some kind of compromise you want to discuss?” I asked, hoping like hell he did. Like me returning to the King Agency, but this time as an agent.

He reached for me, but I stepped back. “You’re asking me to agree to let you risk your life, to put yourself at risk every day.” He shook his head. “I thought I could, but I can’t do that.”

Oh God.

I hugged myself. “You know this isn’t just about me doing a job that’s dangerous, don’t you?”

He frowned. “Ruby . . .”

“You’re holding on too tight, Neco. Too damn tight.”

He flinched.

“This is about your mom, this is about feeling helpless.”

He shook his head. “No, this has nothing to do with her.” He stood, but stayed where he was. “I love that you found your voice, found that confidence, that you shut that bitch of a stepmother’s voice down in your head, but you’re not bullet proof. You don’t need to prove her wrong, not anymore.”

“That’s what you think I’m doing?” I rasped.

“Yeah, that’s what I think you’re doing.”

I glanced out the window, sucking in a sharp breath. “You still see me as that broken, sad little girl, don’t you?”

A pause. “No . . .”

I didn’t believe him. “As someone to be strong for.”

“Ruby . . .”

“Looking out for me gave you that, gave you the strength you needed when your world was as fucked up as mine.” I shook my head. “I can’t be the Ruby you want me to be. I can’t be that Ruby anymore. I can only be me.”

“Fuck.” He dragged a hand over his head.

“I’m not weak. I’m not a victim. I know what I want, and it has nothing to do with Valery.” I met his eyes, mine pleading with him to see, to see me. “But it has everything to do with you. You were the one to help me find my strength. You made me believe I could be anything I wanted. That she had no power over me. I took that to heart, Neco. I believed it. I still do. Valery . . . she’s nothing to me. She certainly has nothing to do with my decisions.” I took a steadying breath. “I can’t give up what I want . . . what I need, to make you feel better. I can’t be a prisoner in this apartment.” My eyes locked with his. “I can’t be your prisoner.”

His whole body jerked back at that, my words making a direct hit. I hated it, but I couldn’t say nothing and hope he’d change his mind, or carry on sneaking around behind his back, just to live my life. What kind of a relationship was that?

“You’re not a prisoner,” he said, deep and rough.

“But that’s how I feel when you act this way. You love me, I know that, but this, the way you’re acting, it doesn’t come from love, it’s born from fear and it’s . . . it’s too much, Neco.”

He stood there, staring at me, chest rising and falling fast.

“Neco,” I said when he said nothing. “Please.”

It was one word, but it said everything. Please fight for us. Please fight for me.

“I can’t,” he said.

I dragged in a deep breath, a tear streaking down my face. “Then this won’t work.”