Page 58 of Swerve (Boosted Hearts 1)

“Oh God.” She looked up at me. “I . . . I don’t even remember us coming home that night. All I remember is that I’d been upset that evening, and Scott insisted we go out to cheer me up.”

“You were upset?”

She swallowed, eyes darting away again. “Yes.”

And he’d used that fact to prey on her. I don’t know why I pushed, but I heard myself ask, “Why?” Whatever it was, remembering it made her uncomfortable. “What had upset you that night, Ruby?” I cupped her jaw and made her look at me. “Tell me.”

“It was nothing,” she said, voice soft.

I suddenly felt like I’d swallowed a lump of lead, because I knew. “It was me, wasn’t it? You were upset because of something I did?”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“It fucking does matter. You were sad, because of me, and Scott took advantage of that, he used that against you.”

Her now glistening eyes met mine. “It wasn’t your fault, Neco. It doesn’t matter what it was. It could have been something small. God, maybe you didn’t talk to me that day at work, or I didn’t see you. My feelings aren’t something you have control over. You were always on my mind. I just, missed you . . . all the time. There was nothing you could have done to change that, and that includes how I was feeling that night . . . what happened with Scott later.”

She was trying to make me feel better, but all she’d succeeded in doing was reaffirming what I already knew. That I’d failed her. I should have held onto her and never let her go. Because even that . . . that fucking horror show I’d watched on Scott’s laptop, was about me. She’d gotten into that situation because of me, because I’d put distance between us, when she needed me. When I should have done the opposite as soon as I was free of Tomas.

When I started working for him, I’d been forced to give up Ruby to keep her safe, giving up on a life with her so I could work for him, the only way to save my mother. At the beginning, I thought I could have both, have it all. I’d been wrong, and Ruby had paid the price. She’d paid it over and over again.

“I can’t believe I let him do that,” she said, cutting through my thoughts.

I held her tighter. “You didn’t let him do a fucking thing. That fucker preyed on you, took advantage of you . . .”

“No, I . . .”

I kissed her, cutting her off. When I pulled back, I shook my head. “None of this is on you.” I kissed her again gently. “I’ll make him pay, I promise you that.” Then I kissed her again, soft and sweet, while she trembled in my arms, as she held on to me tighter.

“I need you,” she said against my lips. “I need you to wash it all away.”

Lifting her, I turned, and walked her to the bed. “I’ll give you anything, everything. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll do whatever it takes, always.”

We dropped to the bed, and she dragged my shirt up and off. “All I want, all I need, is you.”

“You’ve got me, you’ve always had me, even when you didn’t know it. I was always yours, Ruby. Always.” Then I kissed her again while she worked the button on my jeans and slid down the zipper.

I dragged her panties down, shoving her tank up and off. I needed to feel her skin against mine.

Her legs wrapped around my hips instantly. “Now, please. Don’t make me wait.”

I didn’t, couldn’t. Fisting my cock, I guided myself to her and slid home. Then we were moving together, rolling and grinding, kissing the whole time. Ruby fed me every moan and whimper, every cry, as I took her slow and deep, as I did my best to wash it all away.

We were lying together in the dark a little while later when she said quietly, “Please . . . please, don’t lock me out of this. I don’t want to feel helpless. Promise you won’t keep things from me, not when he’s out there, when that motherfucker is still out there.”

I curled her in closer. “I promise.” I kissed the top of her head. “But I need something from you, too. Leave this case to me. I won’t hide shit from you, but just . . . leave this one to me.”

She lifted up and looked down at me. “I can do more than sit behind a desk, Neco. I wish you could see that . . .”

Every muscle in my body tightened. “You don’t think I see it?”

“I haven’t exactly shown you what I can do. I’ve done one idiotic thing after another to get your attention . . .”

“Yeah, to get my attention. Shit, Ruby, I know how smart and quick, how fucking talented you are. I know you can do anything you put your mind to. And even though I hate it, I know you’ll make an amazing agent.” I met her stare. I needed her to understand where I was coming from. “The reason I don’t want you on this case isn’t because I don’t think you can do it. I’m asking you to leave this to me because I will lose my mind knowing you’re putting yourself in Scott’s line of fire every damn day. That fucker is still out there, and we still don’t know what his motives were for coming after you.”

“I don’t think Scott really wants to hurt me.”

“I hope you’re right, but we have no way of knowing for sure. Promise me you’ll leave this one for me.”