Page 28 of Swerve (Boosted Hearts 1)

“She needed you last night.” Van fired his passing shot then went back into her room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

That’s when I lost my shit completely.

* * *

Ruby

Van walked back into the room, expression hard as stone.

I opened my mouth to ask what was going on, when something crashed against the wall outside my room. There was a shout, the sound of booted feet on the linoleum. I tried to sit up and winced. “What’s that?”

Van’s eyes slid to me. “Neco.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Oh God. There was more crashing and someone growled. Then I heard him yell my name. The sounds grew distant.

“He didn’t take being barred from you very well,” Van added unnecessarily.

Lulu stepped into the room, which meant I didn’t have to answer. A good thing, since I didn’t know what to say. Harry had stopped by earlier as well. But I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this, especially Neco.

“You need anything?” Lulu asked.

I shook my head and looked away, out the window. “Have they gone?”

Lulu sat beside me and squeezed my hand. “Yeah.”

“Good,” I whispered.

My throat felt raw, voice rough. I guess from all the screaming. I shivered. I couldn’t deal with Neco’s guilt right then, and that’s what I’d get from him. I didn’t want it. He had nothing to feel guilty about. I was careless, blind. I hadn’t taken notice of the signs. Scott had been acting strange long before he attacked me. I’d chosen not to see it to save face. The last thing I wanted was to admit Neco was right, that I should have kicked Scott out ages ago. I was humiliated. What an idiot they all must think I am. The girl who had been begging to be let out in the field just got her ass kicked by her druggie roommate. I’d trained so hard, I should have been able to defend myself, but I’d frozen up, so taken aback that I’d allowed Scott to get the better of me.

And the icing on the cake? There’d been hidden cameras in the apartment—in my bedroom—and I hadn’t even noticed.

All my life I’ve been trying to prove something to someone. First to my stepmother—I’d spent my childhood trying to convince her I was worth loving, that I wasn’t worthless. Then Neco had come along, and I hadn’t had to prove a damn thing. He cared for me, loved me in his way, for me. Exactly as I was. But then everything had changed and I’d been trying to get that back from him ever since. Trying to show him who I was, who I really was, and trying to prove that I was worthy of his love again, however it came. That this new me, this stronger version of myself, was just as lovable as the emotionally battered, sad little girl I’d once been.

Getting his approval back, his affection, had clouded my judgment, so much so I’d put my life at risk to prove a damn point.

So yeah, I was humiliated.

My stupidity now marked my body, and would leave the kinds of scars you could never forget.

“Go home to Josh,” I rasped to Lulu. “I’m fine, I promise.”

A tear streaked down her cheek. “You’re not fine. Jesus, Ruby. Let someone care about you for once.”

Tears started to well in my own eyes, so I closed them and shut out the room. Lulu was being amazing, the best friend I ever had, but I just wanted to be alone. Van was like a guard dog watching over me and I loved him for it. But I didn’t want him in here either. Unfortunately, he was the first one to get to the hospital. He’d barely left my side since. He felt responsible for me, like they all did. They’d been looking out for me since I was a kid and that hadn’t changed. I hated that I was putting them through this.

But I couldn’t take their pain-filled looks, the pity. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Shutting down my mind, I concentrated on the ticking of the wall clock.

“You rest,” Lulu said softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

She was. She and Van were with me all night and the next day. Lulu finally left late afternoon, when Hunter came and took her home. She looked exhausted and I felt like shit that she’d stayed for me. Van finally got called away, some work thing that needed his immediate attention, and for the first time in two days, I was on my own. Well, Zeke was here, but he was outside the door, and I knew he wasn’t likely to come in to make small talk. I was more than happy with Van’s choice of guard.

I was sore from lying in the same position for so long. Nothing was broken, but I was bruised and battered and recovering from a pretty bad concussion. I hurt like a bitch, and when I tried to wriggle to my side, a cry of pain burst free before I could bite it back. The door opened a second later.

Zeke stood there, looking down at me. “All right?”

God, I hated this so much. Feeling so damn weak. “I was just trying to roll to my side.”

Without a word, he closed in, lifted me carefully in his arms, repositioned me, and lay me back down.