Page 101 of Swerve (Boosted Hearts 1)

He froze. “What won’t work?”

“Us,” I choked, shaking my head. “I can’t be with you.”

He stood like a statue, eyes boring into me. “You don’t mean that.”

“I’ll be gone before you get home.”

“No,” he choked.

“You can’t control this, Neco. Not this time.” Then I turned and walked away, shutting myself in the bathroom.

When I came out a little while later, he was gone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Neco

I stood at the window and watched a cab pull up outside, watched Ruby walk out with her bags and climb in.

Then I watched her drive away.

I can’t be your prisoner.

Numbly, I turned away.

You love me, I know that, but this, the way you’re acting, it doesn’t come from love, it’s born from fear.

Maybe she was right about that, but she was also wrong. Because everything that concerned Ruby came from a place of love. I loved her more than anything else on this earth.

I’d had her. She’d been mine. Finally.

Now I’d lost her.

I lost her.

* * *

I stared at my computer screen. We’d done the recon, but I wanted to make sure everything was set for the meeting Edwards had set up tonight. I couldn’t focus for shit, though. I hadn’t been able to focus on a damn thing since Ruby left. An image of Ruby slammed through my skull, the way she’d looked at me while she’d ridden me two nights ago, the way she’d touched me, the tears I’d seen shimmering in her eyes before she’d come. No hesitation, free, confident, so much love for me—while I’d fucking clung to her. Too tight. I’d held her too tight.

She was right. I’d needed her when we were kids just as much, maybe more, than she needed me. And I was still doing it.

Jesus, I’d all but pushed her out the door.

The dark place inside me that I’d given up fighting roared to the surface, and I stood, swiping everything off my desk. I was breathing heavily, control a thing of the past.

“What the hell’s going on?” Van was standing by the door, eyes boring into me.

“Ruby left,” I said.

“What do you mean left?”

My eyes drifted shut, and I worked at cooling my shit down. “She left me.”

Van’s chin went back, eyes flaring in surprise briefly. “I thought you two were solid?”

“I fucked up, like you said I would.”

“Neco . . .”