Page 67 of The Perfect Distraction

Dear Beth,

I hope you’ll read this email and not discard it right away. Although, if you do discard it, I have no one to blame but myself. I have so much to say, but I’ll try to be brief, assuming you’re still reading this.

I miss you, Beth. I miss us. Right now, you’re probably thinking it’s too little, too late, but I had to tell you. I know how much I hurt you, and I hate myself for it. If I could take it all back, I would, but that’s what everybody says, right? Hindsight.

Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of how much you meant to me. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but it did. At some point, I started to take you for granted, and I stopped putting effort into our relationship. Somehow, I convinced myself that I would be better off without you, but I was wrong.

I’ve tried it on my own, and I’ve been miserable. The longer we’ve been apart, the more I’ve realized what a horrible mistake I made. We had something great, and I screwed it up. I take all the blame. I don’t know if it helps you to know that, but it’s true.

Right now, you might be thinking that I deserve to be miserable, and I’m sure everyone else would agree. But I hope that you’ll consider giving me another chance. And I’m not talking about marriage. I’m sure I ruined that idea for the foreseeable future. What I’m asking is if we could start dating again? It could be a fresh start for us, a whole new beginning, and who knows, maybe someday…

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t expect you to drop everything and come running back to me. But I sincerely hope that you’ll give it some serious thought before you dismiss the idea altogether. We have a history together, Beth, and we loved each other. I still do.

I could go on, but I promised to be brief. So, in closing, I’d like you to consider giving me—correction, us—a second chance. I’ve had ten months to realize how badly I screwed up, but we had five good years together before that. I’d like to think our story isn’t over yet. Maybe we had to go through something awful to get to the really good part.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Love always,

Christopher

She read the email twice more before she closed the laptop and walked zombie-like upstairs to her bedroom. She went through the motions of getting ready for bed, barely cognizant of her actions, and the next thing she knew, she was underneath the covers.

Earlier, she’d told Colton that she’d been sleeping without blankets, but tonight, she was shivering. Her first thought was: How could he do this to me? He had some nerve sending her an email after all this time. An email! Not even a phone call. Of course, he’d probably thought there was a better chance of her reading an email than taking his call, which was true—damn him!

Her anger made her warm, and she shoved off the blankets, got up, and started pacing. Why now? Just when she’d been getting her life back together. She’d felt better in the last few weeks than she had in months, and some of that was thanks to Colton and Joey.

Colton. What would he think of this? She hadn’t told him everything about Christopher, but enough to indicate how badly he’d hurt her. He’d probably have some choice words for Christopher if he knew about the email. She’d feel the same way if Gretchen asked for a second chance, or would it be different because of Joey?

Oh, God! Why did everything have to be so complicated?

Lying back down atop the covers, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ceiling. What had prompted Christopher to contact her? And what about the woman that Becca had recently seen him with? Had things gone wrong, and now he was lonely?

It was just like Christopher to bring up their history. He was betting that if she thought about all the good times they’d shared, she might consider taking him back. And yes, she had some good memories, and yes, she’d loved him. She’d wanted to marry him, after all. But to give him another chance—it was ludicrous, wasn’t it?

Suddenly, she wished her sisters were there to talk to. Unlike Colton, they knew the entire story of her and Christopher and would undoubtedly have a lot to say on the matter. But glancing at the clock, she realized how late it was, and she didn’t want to disturb them. Besides, she was a grown woman, and she needed to make this decision on her own. She already knew what Becca would say anyway—NO WAY IN HELL! And Brooke would probably agree, although she would say it in a softer way.

After witnessing what she’d gone through over the past year, her family and friends would certainly advise against it. So, why was she even giving it a second thought? Nostalgia? But that wasn’t enough, was it? Maybe a part of her still loved him and wanted to give him a second chance. Maybe he was right, and their story wasn’t over.

But what about Colton? There was no denying she had feelings for him. And it was more than a physical attraction. She knew that now. Yet they’d only known each other a short time, and there were serious complications. What kind of relationship could they have if she were living two hundred miles away? Colton had made it clear that he intended to stay in Harbor Springs, and she didn’t blame him. His family and business were here, not to mention Gretchen. It wouldn’t be right to put an even greater distance between Joey and his mom.

What a mess! If only she’d listened to Becca in the first place and been satisfied with a summer fling. Why’d she have to go and get involved?

Because that’s who you are. You’re not Becca. Her aunt’s words came drifting back to her.

She lay there for a while longer, trying to get to sleep, but realized it was no use. It reminded her of the days immediately following the “incident,” when she’d had trouble sleeping and finally resorted to using sleep aids. She hadn’t used them in a long time, but she’d packed them just in case. Shoving herself out of bed, she went into the bathroom and rummaged through her cosmetic bag until she found what she was looking for. Shaking a couple of pills into her hand, she washed them down with a glass of water.

“Thanks a lot, Christopher!” she growled. At least now she’d be able to get some sleep before she went over to Colton’s in the morning. Colton. Just the thought of him made her smile. Deciding to train her thoughts on him, she settled in and waited for sleep to come.

What she’d forgotten was how strong the pills were and that she hadn’t bothered to set an alarm.