Page 97 of Second Time Around

Her heart clenched, and she swallowed hard. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. She could tell he was still angry, and she couldn’t blame him. She started to get out of the car, but he stepped back and held up his hand.

“No, don’t.”

“Beck…”

“Go home, Jenna.”

Her eyes bulged, and she felt a surge of panic. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Beck, please. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head again. “You still don’t trust me after all this time, after everything…”

Then he turned away as if he couldn’t stand the sight of her and started walking back toward the restaurant.

“Beck!” she shouted into the wind.

“Go home, Jenna,” he repeated.

She watched him enter the restaurant, her heart racing and her throat sore from yelling. When he paused to lock the door, he glanced out at her, but she couldn’t read his expression, and then he disappeared.

Slamming her hands on the steering wheel, she said, “You idiot!”

Her anger and self-righteousness had turned into a giant ball of regret and self-loathing. He had every right to be furious with her for thinking so little of him, not once, but twice! Especially now, after how close they’d become. He’d said he wanted to marry her for God’s sake! How much more proof did she need?

She sat there for a few more minutes, pondering what to do. She could knock on the restaurant door, but her knuckles would probably bleed before he let her back in. She could try calling him, but she’d bet anything he wouldn’t answer. He’d probably turned his phone off by now, or worse, thrown it against the wall in frustration.

Her gut twisted as she thought of the possible repercussions of her actions. What if he refused to cater Stacy’s party now? How could they replace him on such short notice? She’d probably have to make the food herself, and everyone would hate her for it.

Then her mouth dropped open as she thought of the absolute worst-case scenario. What if he decided to move back to Chicago? Barb’s health had improved, and her prognosis was good. Wasn’t she the reason he’d come home in the first place? There was nothing to keep him here anymore, especially if he no longer wanted to be with her. Please don’t let that happen.

Then she was assailed with an image of him and Cassie embracing. Only this time, instead of pushing her away, he pulled her closer…

“NO!” she shouted, shaking her head vehemently. “He doesn’t love her. He loves me.” She repeated the mantra as she started the car and pulled out of the parking spot.

She wouldn’t allow her negative thoughts to take over like they had the last time. Her stubbornness had caused their separation twelve years ago, and she refused to let that happen again. Besides, she couldn’t afford to waste another twelve years. Like he’d said, they weren’t getting any younger. Twelve years from now, he might not even want her anymore. There go my negative thoughts again.

Instead of driving away, she drove slowly in front of the restaurant, but all the lights were off, and she couldn’t see a thing.

The dark, unwelcoming restaurant filled her with foreboding. Did this mean he wanted her out of his life for good? She sat there for a few more minutes, hoping he might suddenly appear and let her in, but she had no such luck.

Finally, she drove away, the weight of her foolishness fully descending upon her, although this time, she wouldn’t hide out and do nothing. She’d be brave and face up to her mistakes. She wouldn’t let her jealousy ruin the great thing they had—not again. Not ever.