Page 79 of Then Came You

She sucked in a breath, but at least she hadn’t looked away.

“After Owen died, I vowed never to date another cop.”

He nodded.

“And I didn’t just limit it to cops. No firemen, EMT, or any other profession that I deemed dangerous.”

“I get it.”

“But then came you.”

“I couldn’t stay away.”

“I know, and I’m glad.”

His eyebrows raised. “So am I.”

“But…”

“Uh-oh.”

She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “That doesn’t mean I don’t have reservations. Whenever you go off to work, I worry, just like I did before. When you’re a few minutes late getting home from your shift, I worry. I don’t completely relax until I hear your voice or see your face, and I don’t see that changing.”

Her hands were clenched into fists, and he picked one up and held it. “I’m sorry about that. I can’t control how you feel, but if there’s anything I can do to ease your worries, I’ll do it.”

“I know you will, and you already have.”

“You mean like the other night?”

She nodded. “You sent me a text that you were running late, and that made me feel a lot better. But it still doesn’t erase the possibility that something bad could happen to you…that you could…”

When her voice caught, he immediately stood up from the table and went around to her side. He knelt on the floor and took both of her hands in his. Later he’d look back and think about how that pose often signified something else. Now all he wanted to do was comfort her.

“Gillian. Look at me.”

When she did, tears were shimmering in her eyes, and it gutted him. He hated to see her sad or hurting, and he especially didn’t want to be the cause of it.

“I’ve always been careful on the job, but now I have even more reason to—you.”

The tears that she’d been trying to hold back came streaming down her face. All he could think of to do was hold her, and that was exactly what he did. In fact, he picked her up and carried her to the couch, where he sat with her cradled on his lap for a very long time.

As often as they’d made love, that moment might have been the most intimate of all. She clung to him, allowed herself to be vulnerable, and let him soothe her. She didn’t try to hide her emotions or walk away, and even though he felt her pain, he was grateful.

After a while, she dried her eyes on her sleeve and tipped her head up to gaze at him. “I’m as bad as Emily.”

He chuckled. “No, you’re not. Besides, you have a legitimate reason to feel this way. You lost the man you loved.”

“And I don’t want to lose another.”

They both froze for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to take the comment, and she looked shell-shocked like she couldn’t believe she’d said it. Had she meant that she didn’t want to lose another man or another man she loved? It was an important distinction, but he wasn’t going to unravel it tonight because Gillian had already scrambled off his lap.

“Where are you going?”

“To let the dogs in. I heard them scratching at the door.”

He hadn’t heard anything, but he let her go. She obviously needed a moment to regroup, and maybe he did too. After all, they’d shared quite a lot for one night.

When she returned a few minutes later, the dogs trailed behind her and took up their places on the living room floor. Rocky had become quite accustomed to visiting her house, and he’d designated certain spaces as his. Luckily, Cocoa didn’t seem to mind sharing his home or his master, so all was well.