Page 64 of Born to Scar

There she is curled up on the very edge of his bed, under the comforter, asleep. He’s a comfort for her, too, whether she realizes it or not. I wish I could be that for her. I have no idea how to become that kind of safety for her. And worse, I knew Cam’s plan would bite me in the ass. I fucking knew it, and I let him do it anyway.

Shutting Mik’s door, I turn to our bedroom, strip to my boxers, and climb into bed. Cam’s right behind me but stops at the threshold. His eyes narrow on the bed, and mine glower at him. “Let her stay in there. This is our fault.”

His brows shoot to the top of his head. “She’s in Micky’s bed?” I nod, with a scowl. “Don’t give me this shit; you’re as much in on this as I am.”

“That’s why I said our fault,” I snap. He turns to Micky’s door. “Don’t.” He stares at it with his hand on the knob and sighs. Then he turns to our room, strips, and climbs into bed with me.

I turn the light off, but sleep doesn’t find me. He isn’t sleeping either. As he’s tossing and turning, I lie flat on my back, staring at the ceiling.

It’s nearly sunrise when our door creaks open, and Indy climbs in between us. We’re both awake, but neither of us moves. “I’m sorry,” she whispers before lying down and curling in on herself. We turn on our sides and put our arms around her, lying together until the alarm goes off.

She’s the first out of bed, going straight into the office and opening the box of her mother’s journals. She sits on the floor and reads. Cam has gone into his office today, and I’m working right beside her. She hasn’t said a word. Not when Cam told her goodbye. Not when he told her he loved her. Not when I told her I loved her. Not a single word.

I don’t think she even notices I’m in here with her. I’ve kept my headphones on, but no music plays.

Then she finally speaks. “This isn’t right.”

I swivel my chair to face her. “What isn’t?”

Her eyes snap to mine and narrow before instantly softening. She picks up two journals and holds them out. “Look at the writing style. The older one is her.” She puts that journal in my face. The passage I catch breaks my heart, and I gently push it away. She cocks her eyebrow and shoves the other in my face.

What the fuck?

“See. It’s not the same. The handwriting is the same, but not the writing. It’s off, yeah? I’m not crazy, right?”

I shake my head. “It is not the same. You aren’t crazy.”

“It’s like she was being forced to write it,” she whispers.

“It seems like that, yes.”

She takes the book back, sitting back on the floor, continuing to read. She reads every single one of the journals in that box, calling out of work to finish them. Bik texts me for more information. He’s worried about her; she never calls out.

By the time she’s done reading, she has cried, laughed, and thrown a few of the journals across the room.

“What was I supposed to get out of reading these? It doesn’t change a thing.”

“I think he was hoping you didn’t notice the change in tone,” I guess.

She looks up and nods. “I think so, too. I wonder why he would even leave those older ones in there, and what happened? Did she get caught keeping a journal?”

“That would be my guess.”

“This makes me hate him more,” she whispers. Dropping to the floor, I sit with her. She scoots closer and leans in, wrapping her arm around my back. “I wish I knew what to do.”

“We’re going to figure it out, sweet girl.”

She sighs. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Any of you.”

“He’s not going to do anything to us, Indy.” She grimaces. “You don’t believe me.” She shakes her head. “You’ll just have to trust us.” I smile at her and reveal, “Cam has a guest coming over tonight, it’ll give you some of the answers you’re looking for.” She nods, standing, not questioning me for once.

“If we’re going to have guests, then I need to shower.”

I chuckle. “It’s not that kind of guest, Indy. I don’t think he cares if you’ve showered.”

She showers anyway and looks like she feels better after—so much so that she cooks us dinner. She’s a great cook, and she loves to do it. But she rarely has the time with her schedule. I think it helps calm her, too. She always seems relaxed while in this space.

She makes baked spaghetti with homemade sauce. She knows how to make noodles, too. That’s a real treat, but she didn’t have time tonight. The kitchen smells amazing when Cam walks through the door with Ken.