Page 185 of When a Soul Cries

That was normal.

I thought about Halo before I thought about myself.

If I had twenty dollars and she needed something, then I had zero dollars.

I had gotten used to being somebody’s mother before I was anything else.

But those bags weren’t for Halo.

They were for me.

And I couldn’t remember the last time somebody looked at me and thought, *Soleia needs something too.*

That should have only made me grateful.

Instead, it made something warm settle in my chest every time I looked at him.

That scared me.

I knew what gratitude felt like.

This wasn't just gratitude anymore.

I was starting to like him.

Really like him.

Not because of his house or his money. Not because he had rescued me from that motel or bought me clothes.

It was the little shit.

The way he knocked on my bedroom door even though it was his house.

The way he asked before picking Halo up if I was already reaching for her.

The way he could tell when I was overwhelmed and somehow knew when to ask questions and when to leave me alone.

The way he looked at me sometimes when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

And, if I was being completely truthful, the man was fine as hell.

That didn't help anything.

I waited until Rome left the room before I sat on the edge of the bed and cried.

Not hard.

Just enough to let some of it out.

Then Sugga showed up a few days later and made it impossible to stay emotional for long.

That woman came through the front door carrying bags like she was moving in.

Diapers.

Wipes.

Baby soap.