Page 25 of Signed in Blood

I wonder if I could freeze him to death. Turn the snow to ice… Could I do that?

I’m not sure, but I don’t try.

I study him, trying to learn his mannerisms, so this time, I truly can kill him off and never look back.

He’s fast on his feet, it doesn’t take him long to walk a mile. I can hear his thoughts, each one more disturbed than the last. The only thing this man wants is money and power; he wants to be the richest band in the world. It’s why they sacrificed me to begin with. The thought of his greed sickens me. The reason for my death disturbs me even more.

To end someone’s life for fame isn’t the reason I’m expecting. I can’t believe how cold and callous he is. Meeting evil like that is off-putting and I begin to wonder if I can even go through with this. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t want to be like them.

I start to feel this guilt that shouldn’t be there until all of a sudden, a vision of Jake mercilessly fucking me takes ahold of my mind.

How much they hurt me, how much they made me bleed and beg and cry…

The guilt is replaced by pure unadulterated fury deep in my bones, and all I want is revenge.

I continue to watch him talk to the cashier, buying more drugs before he leaves the way he came in. All the while I stay in hiding. With a hand behind me, I imagine the snow covering up my tracks and with one peek, I see they do. There’s no evidence left behind of my stalking.

For some reason, I still don’t act when I have every opportunity to. I just watch him like he’s this train wreck I can’t look away from. I can’t even decide how to do it. Almost like I want to savor it. I want to make sure his death gives me peace. It can’t be quick.

Somewhere along the way, he ends up on a bike in his high stupor and he drives to the place that Sabrina and I were supposed to go, the place where we were going to leave our locket on a bridge.

Fuck me. The emotions that pour of me are unexpected.

We never got to slip our lock on the bridge.

I don’t know what he’s doing there and he doesn’t either. Not many thoughts are floating through his high mind. He’s just wandering around, trying to find something he’ll never have.

Peace…

Exactly like me.

He runs his hands down the locks, making them click and clack. It only adds to my pain.

I can’t help that my vision goes blurry and tears leak from the corner of my eyes, realizing Sabrina and I will never be able to do this, and that understanding is the hardest pill to swallow. I try to swallow it anyway, but instead I’m faced with memories of a future I’ll never have.

I hate him.

I hate them all.

But even then, that hate doesn’t help. Because the truth is, all I’ve ever had is love in my heart.

And I mourn the loss of that too.

I’m unaware of how long I stand there. Time seems to stand still or maybe it flies by, I can’t tell the difference anymore. I’m trying to let the memories consume me, wanting to let the anger roll off me. It’s the only way I’ll be able to go through with this. Something inside of me tells me that Lucifer isn’t far; I can feel his eyes on me.

So when I hear the crunch of snow behind me, I’m not alarmed.

“My little piece,” he whispers and I close my eyes, feeling my heart beat just a little faster.

Chapter Twelve

Lucifer

* * *

She feels me behind her, the heat of me making her warm all over and I’m reminded of my lips sucking her sweet little clit.

Fucking delicious.