Page 54 of Shifted Desire

We haven’t full on fucked again in the office, but it’s only a matter of time. I can tell she wants to. We have a laundry list of things we both put in our kink questionnaires, and those scenarios float around in my head far too often, but there’s a guilty part of me that doesn’t want to keep crossing that line.

It’s an arbitrary and heteronormative standard to be okay with oral and hands but draw the line at sticking my dick inside her again, but my brain still clings to it. As if in the horrifying scenario where our sexual activities come to light, they’ll be more excusable. That my best friend won’t want to murder me quite as much.

Speaking of whom, tonight is my first test in facing Shane since Samantha and I started our forbidden arrangement. I’ve been putting him off for the last few weeks, claiming I needed to get settled in at work, but I can’t keep avoiding him.

Shane is the main reason I moved back here. When I got home from that horrible night a few months back, shaken and overwhelmed, memories of how good life was with him nearby were what guided me to uproot my life and seek the comfort of a bygone era of my life.

I’m not about to squander my chance to spend more time with my best friend, my only of happiness in the fog of my dull life, because I’m making terrible life decisions.

At least Elle is teaching a class tonight and Samantha will be out doing something with her sisters to make herself scarce, so it won’t be quite as tricky to hide my secret.

Still, I’m sweating far more than I should on a breezy evening as I climb the steps of Shane and Elle’s brownstone. An unfamiliar car is already parked in front of their townhouse, and guilt at being a little late mingles with my worry about acting weird because I’m fucking Sam.

I don’t even make it to the top of the steps before Shane is in the threshold, beaming at me.

“Nathan! Perfect timing, Stacy and Mark just got here.”

My chest squeezes at how happy he is to see me. How free he is with his affection, and how the years have dulled the edges of his anxiety and given him a confidence and ease that still takes me a bit by surprise whenever I see him.

The ache in my chest deepens into something less pleasant when he pulls me into a hug, and guilt crashes over me. It takes all my composure not to stiffen and hug him back, giving him a few hefty thumps on the back to disguise my reaction.

“Good to see you, man. Sorry it took me so long to get back over here.”

Shane shakes his head, grinning as he adjusts his glasses. “Don’t apologize! I’m thrilled to get to see you at all.”

Hells, way to make me feel even more guilty for avoiding you.

“Me too. Now that things are more settled at work, I should have some free time.”

Shane nods. “Sam was telling me how busy things have been. That’s still going alright on your end?”

It’s more than alright.

“She’s perfect,” I blurt, fighting against the flush rising on my cheeks. I clear my throat. “I have zero complaints.”

“Excellent!” Shane beams with delight. “For what it’s worth, Sam seems to really like the position too. She’s happier than I’ve seen her in a long time, and full of energy. I know I shouldn’t talk about her like this since you’re her boss now, but…” Shane’s expression grows more contemplative. “Sam is a lot like me. If she doesn’t have a fulfilling task or work to do, she gets antsy. It takes away her shine when she’s not able to be of use. So this means the world to me, you giving her a chance.”

It’s a struggle to smile back and nod, bile rising in my throat as Shane confides in me about his daughter, like I’m some benevolent ally and not the bastard screwing her behind his back.

Gods, I’m horrible. He’s acting like me moving here is the best thing that’s happened in ages, but if he ever found out what Samantha does for me at work, he’d despise me.

“I’m not doing you any favors,” I say, voice too scratchy. “Samantha is an excellent, capable assistant. If anything, I should be thanking you for referring her to me.”

Thanking him and apologizing profusely for betraying his trust.

“Is that Nathan?” A slightly nasal, feminine voice calls from inside, saving me from doing something stupid like confessing my transgressions to my best friend.

“Yep! Sharpen your greataxe, Stacy, because it’s time to slay some monsters now that the full party has arrived,” Shane calls back.

In a flash, I’m transported back forty years, cramming into Shane’s tiny apartment with an offering of nachos and a six-pack for sustenance while we explored dungeons and went on adventures together in our minds. The nostalgia hits even harder when Shane leads me to his dining table, where he’s set up his old DM screen and Stacy and Mark are already seated side-by-side.

“Holy shit, look at the old wolf Shane dragged in,” Stacy says, springing to her feet and rounding toward me with arms outstretched. She’s a little thinner and her blonde hair is grayer than I remember, but otherwise barely changed with the passage of time thanks to her fae lineage.

“Good to see you, Graxlar,” I laugh as we embrace.

Mark stands and extends a much more wrinkled hand. Age has hit him harder than his wife, but he still looks pretty damn good considering it’s been forty years since I last saw him. “It’s been a long time, man.”

“Too long,” I reply with a nod, emotion slamming into my chest as I take my seat at the table.