Page 103 of Shifted Desire

“I swear to everything I hold dear, I never would’ve done it if I knew she didn’t want it. I didn’t care about being with her during the full moon, it wasn’t like it is with you… I would’ve been okay never doing it, and I didn’t mean to scare her. All I can think is that there are gaps in my memory where the wolf took over and did terrible things despite my best intentions… and I can’t.” He chokes a little on the emotion rising in him. “I can’t do that again. Not to anyone, but especially not to you.”

Gods. I’m at a loss for words, attempting to reconcile my past and adamance to believe all women with the pained confession of the man I love. There’s no way to know what happened back then, and while every fiber of my being is telling me that Nathan isn’t dangerous, I can’t dismiss the possibility that he hurt this woman.

Nathan’s gaze searches my face, bracing for the moment I decide he’s a monster. But all I see is a man who spent four decades of his life not transforming because he’d rather suffer all the ill effects of suppressing his curse than risk the potential for harming someone.

“You won’t hurt me,” I say calmly.

“You can’t know that! It’s too much of a risk. If that ward hadn’t been on the door last night, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from rutting you.”

“I wanted you to rut me. I would’ve loved it. I made a sex contract with you for this express reason, for fuck’s sake.”

“I would’ve been too rough,” he protests. “She showed me her bruises, and they made me sick.”

“I like when you leave marks.”

“This is different,” he says, brow furrowed in agonizing worry.

“It’s really not. We can find safety measures so there’s less risk of you harming me in a way I won’t enjoy. But risk awareness is a core part of the games we play together. This isn’t any different from that. I’m telling you I want to be with you when you’re transformed, and understand and consent to the risks that come along with it.”

“Samantha…”

“Please. I can’t bear the thought of you having another full moon like you did last night. Not when I can make things good for you. For both of us. I’m part-succubus, in case you forgot. I’m very resilient.”

“There is a charm that would help you keep me under control that your paren—” Nathan flushes, cutting himself off even though I know what he was about to say. “That a friend offered to work on for me.”

I smile, ignoring that my dad is unwittingly making something to help his daughter’s sex life. “Perfect. I’d love to see how good a boy you can be for me in your monstrous form.”

Nathan groans, his cock stirring to life as I give him a teasing look.

“Looks like you’d enjoy that too.”

“I’d enjoy anything as long as you’re there with me,” he rasps, and the hoarseness of his voice reminds me he’s still in pain and worn down.

I kiss his cheek. “Why don’t we start now with a bath with some arnica oil for the soreness and bruises? I’m worried if I try to fuck you right now, you might pass out.”

Nathan chuckles, the sound a balm to my agitated senses after such an intense conversation. “I could probably handle a quick handjob in the tub.”

Rolling my eyes at him, I help him to his feet. “Only if you promise to let me take care of you and rest today.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” he says with a grin. “But you know I’ll do anything you ask. With or without handjobs.”

I snort. “How romantic. Make sure to remember that for your wedding vows.”

I take far too long to understand why Nathan is grinning at me like the cat that got the cream. A flush washes over me from head to toe. “It’s a joke! A hypothetical. I wasn’t…I don’t think…”

He plants a lazy, lingering kiss on my lips, cutting me off and sending warmth through my body. “Don’t worry. I’ll come up with something much more eloquent.”

38

Adjusting the strap of my dress and checking my teeth in the mirror for any stray lipstick, I turn and face Max, who fidgets with his cufflinks, a furrow on his brow and a slight flush on his cheeks.

I take his hand in mine and give it a squeeze, wishing I had Claire’s soothing powers. She’s sitting out with Mom and Dad since her pregnancy is kicking her ass and she doesn’t feel up to standing with the rest of the bridal party, and Maggie is currently wrangling her kids, so it’s up to me to be the sister who helps. Even though I’m the least equipped for it.

“Hey, why are you so damn nervous?” I ask with a teasing smile. “You’ve got a smart, funny, and sexy as hell babe who is obsessed with you and wants to have your babies waiting to walk down the aisle. Everything is running smoothly, and there was only one small incident with Dad knocking a flower arrangement over, and that’s already fixed.”

Max laughs, but the sound is still tinged with nerves. “I know. I know. I’m just… I can’t really believe this is my life. That I’m this damn lucky. I keep waiting for something horrible to happen or to fuck up and ruin everything.”

I scoff. “Uh, excuse me, but I’m the fuck-up of our family. If anyone is going to ruin your wedding, it’s me.”