Page 88 of Go Back to December

When his phone immediately buzzes, he snarls. “Luiza, get your shit and let’s move!”

I raise an eyebrow, and his expression turns sheepish. “Habit.”

“Make a new one.”

He leans over the counter. “I’m working on it.”

Our lips are a fraction apart. If he closes the distance, if his mouth meets mine, I won’t be able to stop myself from giving in to this tumbling sensation that’s hijacked my ability to reason.

Knuckles rap on the door. Luiza answers it on her way back into the kitchen.

Dooley breezes in behind her. “Everyone friends again? Actually, I don’t care, and we don’t have time. You ready?”

“Fucking PT.” Baz snarls. “Luiza, get your coat.”

“Why can’t I stay here with Mel?”

“Because you were supposed to be home last night to pack for the cabin. Mamá’s big mad about it. And Melody is not your fucking caretaker!”

Luiza’s unfazed by his outburst. I suppose on the Baz scale of irritation, it ranks somewhere in the yellow zone.

She sticks out her tongue at his back as she gathers her coat and purse.

“Sorry again,” she whispers to me. In a brighter voice, she says, “I’ll make up for it at New Year’s. Maybe I can convince Annabel to let us watch the fireworks from her installation. Oh, and they announced the music lineup for the carnival concert,” she adds. “I’ll send you the link to the main act. You won’t be able to stop watching them. Even Baz can’t hate it.”

“LUIZA!” Baz shouts. “Melody and I aren’t going to the lake for New Year’s!”

To her credit, Luiza doesn’t return the roar. She lets the silence reign before she paints on a cool Johnson glare and tosses back, “You will if you meant what you said this morning.”

Responding to a silent summons from Baz, Dooley drags Luiza by the collar like a mother cat scooping up a kitten by the neck.

Baz’s chest heaves up and down long after the door closes behind them.

I don’t want him to calm down. Fighting is a much more attractive alternative to sorting through my convoluted nest of emotions.

He curses as he hobbles over to me. “I’m sorry.”

“You should say that to Luiza.”

“I made it perfectly clear to her I wasn’t going to the lake.”

He’s not serious about reconciling with his family. If he can’t talk through everything with them, there’s no chance he’s going to confide in me.

And I can’t risk everything for the mere hope that one day he’ll decide he finally wants to allow me fully into his life and his heart. “You’re going to be late.”

He doesn’t miss the detachment in my voice. “We’re not done talking.”

“Then tell me the truth, Baz. About your unforgivable mistake, and the lake, and why you refuse to do this for your family.”

Baz has no quick reply.

I move away, but he grips my arm. “Wait.”

I shake him off and nod to the file box. “You’ve helped me with a plan to save the café. I ran interference with your family, and you’re finished with the boots. Our deal is done. I can leave.”

He opens and closes his mouth silently, shocked out of words.

I can’t believe I said them either.