Page 34 of The Golden Receiver

“My parents didn’t raise me,” he told me in the same kind of tone that someone might have said that the sky was blue or they loved hot chocolate.

I turned around and looked at him. His face was just as impassive as his voice had been. “Why not?”

“Werewolves are pack animals,” he said as he took a seat on his bed. He patted the spot next to him. I thought about it for a second before sitting in his desk chair. Something told me sitting on his bed while we talked about what I’d come up to talk about wasn’t a great idea. “When I started showing signs of being a monster, my parents found Kali and her pack. They talked to her for a while before sending me to live with her. They came to visit a few times a month, but they were never really parents, if you know what I’m saying.”

I didn’t really know what he was saying. I couldn’t imagine not growing up with my dad. I couldn’t imagine him or my mom handing me off to live with strangers at a young age. The whole thing piqued my curiosity, and more than that, it meant we weren’t talking about what had happened between us on Friday. “What was that like?”

“What was what like?”

“Growing up in the pack,” I clarified. “Was it like having a bunch of siblings? Was it like a big family?”

Evander gave me a weird look, like he could see exactly what I was doing. But he shrugged and started talking. “The pack is like a big family,” he started. “Kali and her partner, Luke, are the ones in charge, but they aren’t really parents to us. They were our legal guardians, though. They have big dinners at least once a week for those of us who have left the warehouse.”

“Warehouse?” I interrupted.

“Yeah. Kali and Luke bought this massive warehouse across town and converted it into a living area. A bunch of bedrooms, some bathrooms, a few common areas, things like that. Moving into the dorm and having my own room was the height of luxury.”

I laughed. “I’ve had my own room my whole life.”

“Are you an only child?” I nodded. “That must have been lonely.”

“It wasn’t. Never really knew anything else,” I told him with a shrug.

I was hoping Evander would keep talking about what it was like growing up in the pack, but he didn’t. An awkward silence fell over the room, weighing down on us like a heavy blanket. I knew what was on the other side of that silence. I knew that it was unavoidable, but I couldn’t bring myself to start the conversation. Besides, he was the one that wanted to talk about it, so I figured that was on him.

I watched as Evander fidgeted with the blanket on his bed, balling it up under his fingers. I heard him take a deep breath and exhale loudly. I was starting to think he just did everything loud. He took another breath. “So…”

I looked at him. “So.”

“Friday.”

Was this his way of talking about it? I had never known Evander Hemmings to be at a loss for words. I’d known him for just over a month, and he was annoyingly talkative. Of course, I’d never really noticed him fidgeting with anything before either. He seemed nervous, and if I was a nicer person, I might have tried to take the conversational reins and driven the discussion. But I wasn’t the one that wanted to have this conversation in the first place.

When I didn’t say anything, he let out another one of those loud drawn out sighs. I watched as he stood up and started pacing the small area beside his bed. “What happened on Friday,” he started. I noticed he was still fisting and unfisting his hand, still fidgeting. “That was a mistake, right? Like it wasn’t something that we should repeat. It was just… I don’t know, some heat of the moment kind of thing, right?”

“Yeah,” I told him with a nod. That was all it had been. If he hadn’t fallen on top of me, it never would have happened. And if he hadn’t followed me into the woods, it never would have happened either.

“Right,” he agreed. He stopped pacing, and he was standing a little too close to me. “But if it were to happen again…”

I looked up at him. What the hell was he saying? “It won’t.”

“But if it did, it wouldn’t be a big deal, right? We’re both adults. We know that it’s not some big thing. Just two people…” His voice trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and awkward.

“Are you saying you want it to happen again?” I asked bluntly. It was the only obvious conclusion that I could think of.

Evander shook his head. “No. I’m just saying that if it happened again, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Not that I want it to happen again.” Color flooded his cheeks. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I wanted to talk about this all week. I had a whole thing I was going to say, but now that we’re here…” He groaned. “Whoosh. Now that you’re here and we’re talking about it, whoosh. Everything is just gone from my head.”

I laughed in spite of myself. Evander looked shocked for a moment, and then his deep laugh joined mine. Our laughter filled the small dorm room. I didn’t remember the last time I’d laughed like that, but whoosh? It was just how he’d worded the whole thing.

It took a few minutes to calm down from our laughing fit, and when we did, I noticed that he looked a lot more relaxed. He was no longer clenching his fist. He wasn’t pacing anymore. That smile I’d grown used to seeing on his face was back there, but his amber eyes were practically sparkling. I’d never seen anything like it.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh,” Evander pointed out.

I looked up at him. Our eyes met, and all of a sudden, that same heat from Friday night was back. It replaced that heavy awkwardness, like the laughter had driven it from the room. My mouth started to go dry, and I swallowed hard, trying to fix that. It didn’t work. I sucked in a breath.

I should go.

I should really go.