Page 28 of Hollow

“He always talks about that,” Jack said. “I’ll worry when frogs start raining down.”

Astaroth tsked. “As if I’d do something so pedestrian as the ten plagues.”

“Mostly, I just tune him out when he talks about destroying the world,” Jack continued. “He’s been running his mouth about it for centuries.”

“The mortal ways are numbered,” Astaroth said with a wicked glint in his red eyes. “I am working to burst the bubble of capitalism, which will eradicate all sense of certainty for the mortals, then and only then will I unleash true catastrophe across the globe.”

“That is ominous.”

“Meh, money’s overrated when you live in the woods off the grid.”

“You live on your phone, foolish peasant,” Astaroth said rather smugly.

Jack couldn’t counter it because he sort of did. It hadn’t really occurred to him that, technically speaking, he wasn’t entirely off the grid. Mostly, he just ran stuff through Astaroth to avoid a legal paper trail. For a demon dog, he knew how to cook the books for all digital data.

“On that note, I am going for a walk if anyone wishes to join.”

Astaroth’s tail wagged back and forth. “World domination can wait; I wish to go for the walk.”

“I’m going to stay here,” Jack said. “I’ve got some filming to do, anyway.”

“Have fun,” Dimitri said as he exited the house with Astaroth.

“Back at you.”

With the house to himself for a bit, Jack sprawled out onto the couch and started going through his notifications. Jack made his way through the comments, smirking at some of the very suggestive ones.

@JackFanEdits: When is Deer Daddy returning?

@TedRed37: You cant just tease us with a hottie cosplay partner and then never update.

@DevotedCryptid: They’re not cosplaying!

@TedRed37: STFU and go touch grass.

@DarkBookGurl666: GIMME DAT DEER DADDY !!!

@PumpkinSpicy: I want!

They included a screenshot photo of Dimitri’s solemn expression. Christ, he really made somber look sexy.

There were increasingly more provocative comments and more photos. Some crudely drawn memes, others were just screenshots of Dimitri that Jack couldn’t help but wonder if they’d be turned into memes.

Then the memes of Jack’s face started popping up in his comments. Someone used one of Jack’s shocked expressions with the text reading “when Deer Daddy comes in the back door.” That turned out to be one of the tamer comments with several thousand likes.

Jack sighed, put on his best face, and went to record a quick video.

“Howdy ho, my creepy crawlies. It’s your boy, Jack Whoa Lantern, and I’ve been reading those comments. It’s clear you’re all hungry for Deer Daddy—not his official name, FYI.” Jack grinned. “But don’t worry, he’ll share it with you soon. We’ve got big plans for…”

Jack paused for several seconds, then hit stop on the recording before sending it to his drafts. He’d work on something cheerful and sultry later. Instead, he found himself dwelling on a bit of vulnerability, so he hit record again to let out the feelings.

“Howdy ho, my creepy crawlies. It’s your boy, Jack Whoa Lantern, and I am all twisted up.”

Jack didn’t hide the glumness in his voice, the vulnerability, but he was cautious about being too raw. People sometimes saw sensitivity in a post as an invitation to be extra cruel.

“Have you ever been around someone and just felt completely like yourself? No pretense, no expectations, no mask,” Jack said, waving a hand over his pumpkin head. “You just were able to let it all hang out. Freak flags and awkward jokes—only, they aren’t awkward with that person. Nothing is awkward around them. No need to change what you say, reel back your craziness out of worry you might run them off. Because they see it. They see you, and for whatever God-awful reason, they like it.”

Jack smirked into the camera, letting the recording roll in silence as he contemplated.