Page 166 of Eternal Surrender

“I’ve been trying to find a way back.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, trying to cope with the words as I spoke them. “Facing my mortality. . . is challenging.”

“Did you ever grieve for me?” she asked softly.

“I punished everyone including myself for losing you. Pushed everyone away. Marcus and Lucas stood by me when everyone else was too scared to even be in the same room as me.” I rose and joined her by the window. “This,” I clutched my chest, “is the result of my self-hate.”

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m also Jadeon Artimas.” I took a breath. “Everyone seems to forget that.”

“You blame me for this?”

I pressed my hands up against the glass. “I’m done blaming.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Dammit, Sunaria, you’ve been given a second chance. A second chance at life. A second chance to choose differently. You were always so angry, always trying to pour your pain back into the world like it owed you something. But can’t you see? This is a different time now. You have a new beginning. A real chance of happiness. Just let go of the anger, even for a moment. All of that was centuries ago. Choose something else now. Choose to be happy.”

“Orpheus would never scorn me like this.”

“I’m trying to show you what your life can be.”

“You’re asking me to trust. When no trust has been earned.”

“You hurt good people.” I wanted to say more, that I loved Lucas and Ingrid beyond all understanding, but it was unwise to stir her jealousy.

“Haven’t you heard about the poisonings? Vampires have been dying.”

“And why is that my concern?”

I threw her a look of disapproval. “Let us at least be civil.”

She acknowledged her regret for her words. “Lucas told me you know what’s causing it.”

“And then you slit his throat?” I snapped.

She folded her arms defiantly.

“A faction has broken away from the Stone Masters,” I continued, hating the silence. “They call themselves Sovereign. They have the scrolls I need, apparently. And I need Lucas to interpret them. Ingrid’s using her detective skills to help us.”

“You’re in love with her?”

I pressed my forehead against the glass. “My relationship with everyone is skewed.”

“What’s in Piccadilly?”

I stared dead ahead.

She folded her arms. “Jacob’s been lying to you.”

“About what?” And then I saw it in her eyes. “You met with him?”

“I needed answers.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

I backed away, unwilling to see her pain; the agony of how much Jacob’s betrayal had hurt her.