Page 48 of Search for the Lost

“Not right away I didn’t. I studied, I practiced, and I worked my cute little butt off. Talent’ll get you only so far—it takes hard work to make it big. Support from others goes a long way too. But that’s not all. Honey, to really accomplish big things, you gotta have confidence. You need to know—way down deep in your heart—that you’re going to succeed.”

She stopped and looked at him expectantly, apparently waiting for him to draw conclusions from her speech. He didn’t, though. “You’re amazing, okay?” he said. “I can see that. But I’m just schlumpy Leopold, causing disasters wherever I go.”

“Are you?” She bit her lip thoughtfully, then reached up and pulled off her wig. Underneath, she was completely bald. When she spoke again, her voice was deeper and more masculine-sounding. “Look, Dwight Triggs is still here. That’s who I am when I’m not performing. But nowadays, I kinda like the guy. He’s not as pretty as Vexx, but he has his own strengths.”

Vexx—or were they currently Dwight?—stood and hoisted the stool. “Know who you are, Leo. Love who you are. Have confidence that you can achieve things. Then you just might do so.” She blew him a kiss and walked offstage.

The TV screen went dark.

“I bet I’d look really good in drag,” said Aspin. Which was extra annoying because it was true.

As Crispin’s chest made a terrifying rattle, Aspin sprang to his feet and crowded near him. “You have to help him, Leo. I know he and I haven’t always…. But he’s my little brother. And my King.”

“And I love him,” Leo replied. “But I don’t care what Miss Vexx said. I can’t help.”

“You’re the one who did this to him, originally. Not on purpose, of course,” Aspin added hastily. “But you did.”

Well, that was a good point. Leo was great at destroying things—not so much at fixing them. And now, thanks to the body swap, he wasn’t even fully himself and therefore lacked his full Chaos powers. Which was probably just as well.

Mom II came closer and gave Leo’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I told you already. You have a lot of strengths. I’m proud of you.”

He didn’t buy it. All he seemed to be good at lately was attracting Subliminal Influence Vortexes—Vortices?—and populating them with fairytales from his childhood. Fat lot of good that did Crispin.

Leo wished one of those vortices would show up right now, maybe one involving a magick wand that he could wave to make everything better. Not that he would make a good fairy princess. He was more of a swamp-dwelling ogre. God, I loved Shrek when I was a kid. Largely due to the message that you could be weird and still be a hero. You could still find love.

Something niggled at the edges of his brain. “True love’s first kiss,” he whispered thoughtfully. That seemed to do the trick in lots of those stories. Leo sure as hell wasn’t Prince Charming—but neither was Shrek. And yeah, Leo’s Chaos tank was currently half-empty. On the other hand, he’d gained a half-tank of Order.

That was a lot.

“I might be… strong.” It was a strange thought. An alien one.

Aspin, Mom II, and Minkis all chimed in immediately, assuring him that he was strong.

Maybe they’re right. “I think I know how to cure him.” Leo wasn’t actually a hundred percent certain. But he wasn’t a hundred percent uncertain, either.

Aspin set a hand on Leo’s arm. “Do it. Please.”

“Okay.” A few deep breaths. A little hip shimmy, which didn’t have much to do with Chaos and Order, but seemed to work wonders for Vexx, so why not. Leo lifted his chin. “I can do this.”

He bent down and gently pressed his lips to Crispin’s cold ones.

Somehow, despite everything, Crispin still had really good breath, as if he’d just brushed his teeth and gargled mouthwash. Still kissing, Leo smiled at this small hint of Crispin’s essential Crispinness.

And Crispin opened his eyes.

17

Crispin

Crispin had been fighting to keep his head above the rancid liquid, which was a foul combination of grease, acid, and sewage. And strangely, pumpkin spice, which he was familiar with only because Leo had made him take a vacation day back on Earth to visit Sacramento. Leo had to pick up some things from his old apartment and close out the lease, right in the middle of what was apparently the sacred human holiday called Pumpkin Spice Season.

He hadn’t liked it then, and he didn’t like it now. But he had bigger worries at the moment.

His body tumbled end over end through the frothy mess. It filled his nostrils, mouth, throat, and lungs. He struggled against it, fought to cough it up, but it was all around him, filling his world. He could feel it washing him away, slowly erasing him, the caress of liquid wearing down his fingers to nubs. He tried to scream, but nothing came out of his sodden lungs.

Pictures flitted through his head like Sarkathian sand flies, flickering in and out of the darkness like fireflies.

The memory of that night when he had opened the door: the flood of chaos that poured out and surrounded him, overcoming him in an instant.