Page 66 of The Beast

“Ye know.”

“I love ye, Beatrice.”

Her heart was filled with so much joy, she expected it to burst. Instead, she began to cry.

“What did I do?” Duncan pulled her against his chest. “Are ye hurt?”

“No,” Beatrice said looking up at him. “I am happy. I am crying because I am happy.”

Three days later, as the bìrlinns set sail, Beatrice continued to scan the shore hoping to see a horseman arrive. But no one appeared.

“I am sorry,” Darach said. “I do not know why my brother left and did not return.”

Beatrice blew out a breath to keep the tears at bay. “In my heart, I suspected he would not come. And I cannot forgive him for it.”

“Perhaps he will follow. Ye can reprimand him then,” Isobel said with a worried look, as she too looked toward the shore.

“No. He will not come. And I will never return.”

Chapter Seventeen

For days he’d fought to keep the demons at bay. It had been a long time since he’d been so out of control. He’d gone to the forest and ran until his lungs threatened to explode, but still, he could not find it easy to settle.

Since Farlan’s appearance, every moment memories haunted him. Each one becoming worse. The lashings in his dreams so real, he felt the pain. So many things he’d forgotten were now so vivid that he wanted to scream and throw himself off a cliff.

Every night after everyone slept, he’d gone outside out of earshot when the visions attacked. He was reduced to howling like a wounded beast.

Beatrice would never forgive him for not going with her.

He’d been planning to go, but at the last moment it proved impossible. And now he was aboard a different bìrlinn, heading to Skye, away from everyone and everything his life had been.

He’d left a letter for both her and Caelan, and one for Darach, so he could explain things to the family. Not that he expected any of them to begin to understand. How long he would be gone? Duncan wasn’t sure. Perhaps forever.

The horse neighed in protest at being tied down and he ran his hand down its long nose. “We are almost there,” he soothed, looking into the misty distance.

When they arrived on shore, he paid the fees and mounted. It would be a pair of days travel to arrive where he was headed. Hopefully, the cottage was still there. It would be his home for the foreseeable future.

As he traveled, he imagined Beatrice’s disappointment. How he hated hurting her, especially after her falling in love with him. The idea of her feeling pain over his actions made his own ache so much harder to bear.

She must have been devastated.

Duncan let out a frustrated breath. He was so very broken, so lost in his own nightmares that he should have fought harder to keep from marrying her. Instead, he’d been foolish enough to believe it was possible to have a normal life. To grow old with a beautiful wife, raise children, and get to know his grandchildren.

“How stupid of me,” he mumbled as night fell and he looked for a place to find shelter and sleep.

The next day, he found the old cottage. To his surprise, Fergus, the old man who lived nearby, hobbled over to greet him.

“Ye promised yerself not to return,” he said by way of greeting as he leaned heavily on his cane and watched Duncan dismount.

“There isna much in there. Been empty for a few years.” The old man walked to the front door.

With only two cabins in a clearing in the woods, Fergus had appointed himself overseer. When Duncan had stumbled upon the empty cabin ten years earlier, Fergus had found him sick and dirty and with festering wounds. The old man had taken care of him until he’d healed and then promptly found him work and insisted he pay rent.

Duncan had lived there for a year, working and waiting to heal both physically and mentally, before gaining the courage to go home.

“I was foolish to think it would last. The ability to live among them, people who do not deserve to be exposed to someone like me. Broken and filled with hate.”

Fergus let out a sigh, shaking his head. “Come along then. Was about to eat me mutton. Once yer belly is filled, ye can clean up the cabin. Tis not fit for living in at the moment.”