Page 91 of A Flawed Scotsman

How could he have been so stupid? So utterly, utterly foolish to have allowed his deep feelings for her to scare him and send her away.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Esme wasn’t sure how to face every morning in her new role back in Fraser Keep. Although everything was the same, it felt so very different.

Her mother’s disapproval of her decision to remain kept them at odds. It was grating to constantly hear that she’d ruined her own life.

Then there were the questioning looks from the maids and servants, who seemed confused about her status in the household.

Her only solace was Catriona, who she spent hours with talking about inconsequential things. Admittedly, her friend was still not the same. Most of the time, Catriona seemed to fade away during their time together, escaping into her own mind.

It was heartbreaking to see the once bright and exuberant Catriona no longer take care of her appearance, wearing her hair in a single braid every day and choosing only dull gowns to wear. Only once had Esme been able to coax her friend out to the garden and, even then, Catriona didn’t seem to take notice of the surroundings.

“Ye should make it clear to yer mother that her constant berating is not acceptable,” Catriona said, sounding like her former self. “It is not fair to ye.”

“I did make the decision to remain…” Esme said and sighed. “Mayhap it was wrong.”

Catriona shook her head. “It was up to Ruari to convince ye to return and not to be so quick to allow ye to remain behind. I am convinced he cares for ye but is too stubborn to admit it, even to himself.”

To Esme, it was doubtful that Ruari cared. He was attracted to her, but his actions had been driven by the fact that they were married and not by love.

“Lady Esme,” a maid said from the doorway. “There is a visitor here for ye.”

If it was someone from the village, Esme was not in the mood for it. “Who is it?”

“Yer husband.”

Esme’s stomach plummeted, her breath caught in her throat and she looked to Catriona, who seemed to have a similar reaction.

“I will be there shortly.”

She looked down at her gown, a simple but flattering frock, and then felt foolish for wanting to look her best.

“Ye look beautiful,” Catriona told her with a soft smile. “The color is most flattering on ye.”

The pale green did complement her olive complexion and dark hair.

Still, it was hard to make herself stand. Although she was told by her mother that her father had insisted Ruari visit often, she’d not expected it to be more than once every season or so.

Clasping her hands together to keep the trembling from showing, she went to the sitting room where Ruari awaited.

His hair had been shorn and he looked like he had recently trimmed his beard as well. He looked a bit different, perhaps gaunt in the face, but it did not diminish his attractiveness.

When their eyes met, Esme fought to keep an even expression. However, she knew hurt could not be kept from her eyes.

“I did not expect ye to come so soon,” she said, motioning to a chair. She lowered and, once again, clasped her hands together on her lap. Esme kept her gaze forward, refusing to look at him.

When he lowered to his knees in front of her, she leaned back.

Ruari then grasped her hands and looked into her eyes. “Forgive me.”

Struck silent, she could only stare at his large hands. When she met his gaze, there was determination.

“I am a coward to have left ye. I came to ask that ye return to me.”

Esme wanted to, her entire being missing him, but she pulled her hands away from his. “Give me a good reason.”

“Because I love ye and vow to never allow fear to separate me from ye again.” He cupped her face. “I love ye, Esme.”