Page 38 of Westbound Awakening

He had to leave, perhaps sooner than later, else he'd find it impossible to do so.

20

Mae stirred cream into her tea and listened to John and Elma discussing his questions regarding Wesley's propensity to always watch him so closely.

Elma answered while moving about completing her chores. "Senor, I think it's more he admires you. Most little boys want to grow up to be like their father, so they study closely while growing up. My boys did the same with their father."

John's eyes slid to her, but she decided it was best to abstain from commenting, as she'd never spent much time around children other than Wesley. How she'd taken naturally to John's son surprised her.

"I'm relieved to hear it Elma, thank you. Well ladies, I have to go see about the harvest. It's almost done. Once everything is gone to market, there will be more time for rest." He cleared his throat. "Mae, have you decided who you will hire as overseer? Alan is a good candidate. Not much needed to be done in order to train him to take my place."

With practiced perfection, Mae kept from showing any emotion. "Yes, I have to find a good substitute for you, John." She emphasized the word you and he arched a brow obviously understanding her underlying meaning. "I will hire Alan as the overseer."

"He will be glad to hear it," John's clipped reply made her gloat inside at the small victory of a direct hit. "

"I'll let him know about it later today," Mae told him a smile curving her lips. She would not let him know how much his impending departure hurt. She leaned forward and peered at him. "Does this mean you've come up with a departure date? What about Wesley?"

"Yes," John blinked and looked around. Elma had walked out, giving them privacy. "When we go into town tomorrow, I will inquire as to my funds and the land. I don't foresee it being much longer than a week at most."

"It gives you plenty of time to go over things with Alan and since the other two men will be done for the most part with their chores. Feel free to hire them to help you set up. I think Alan can cover things here. If need be, I'll help him with any matters which come up."

"You?" John growled out. "What do you know about ranching?"

"I can learn," she stuck her chin out at him. "What about Wesley?" She repeated keeping her voice level.

"I agree with you. It's best he remain here for the time being. I'd like to make arrangements between us so I can see him regularly. I am grateful you offered to care for him." John stood.

Mae followed suite. "He can stay as long as necessary. As a matter of fact, I'm hopeful that you will allow me to continue to see him. I know that once he is older you may have some reservations, yet I care for him."

"Of course," John replied. His abrupt words did not tell his thoughts.

Satisfied that at least she'd keep Wesley, Mae relaxed. "Speaking of which, I best go see if he's awake. Have a good day John."

John's hand on her elbow stopped her and Mae looked down at him.

His gaze searched her face. "I don't know what to say to you Mae. This is not an easy thing for me."

"What are you trying to tell me John that you haven't already made plain? You may care for me, but whatever obstacles you've created are too large to get over."

He looked away, but remained silent.

Furious now, she shrugged her arm out of his hand and left the kitchen.

* * *

The horses' canter along with the light breeze made the trip to town the next day enjoyable. For the most part lost in his thoughts, John tried to keep from looking to his right side where Mae sat. They went to town together, John guiding the horses while Mae sat next to him on the bench with enough space between them to fit a basket. He knew this because she'd placed one there upon sitting down.

The ride, though just a couple hours, brought back memories of their time together all those days to get to Texas, and John was pressed not to recall the many things which happened since. He slid a glance at Mae. She sat relaxed with a serene expression on her face.

"Miss Lady's visit not too long after the Jacobs' must make you happy. It will fill the emptiness after the Jacobs' departure," John told her in hopes of starting a conversation no involving his eminent departure.

Mae's smile showcased her deep dimples. "Yes it does. I have missed her so much. She brings Lucinda, her daughter with her since she felt uncomfortable traveling for such a long distance alone."

"How long will she remain?"

"I don't know. I hope indefinitely. There is much to decide and talk about. Once she gets settled, I will ask her to remain at least as long as I do."

She still planned to leave. "I didn't know you were planning to return east." John kept his tone remained neutral in spite of the now rapid heartbeat.