Page 16 of Westbound Awakening

"Yeah," John replied and went to find Mae.

It didn't take long to find her. She sat on the ground next to a small tree. With her arms around her knees her cheek against the top of her knees. Although she didn't seem to be crying, John approached her slowly and crouched down. "Mae you cannot stay out here. Come back to the wagon. It's cold out here."

"No. Just go John. I need to think." She sniffed, and he realized he was wrong and she was crying.

He sat next to her and placed his arm around her, surprised when she didn't push away. Not sure what to say, he did what Ryan suggested. "I'm sorry."

"What will your wife think when she finds out we traveled together? You with a prostitute, a woman of no morals."

"Don't call yourself that."

"Why not? It’s what you consider me. You don't think of me as otherwise do you?"

John took her face with both hands and turned her to face him. "I think of you as a beautiful strong woman."

"I can't with a clear conscience pretend to be married to you to the Jacobs. I wish you'd not told them we are married." She sniffed and wiped angrily at her face.

"I would be forced to do it regardless, because we are on this journey together without a chaperone. I would do it to protect people from judging you."

Noting she shivered, he sat placed his other arm around her pulling her close.

She sniffed again and laid her head on his shoulder. "Who is she? Why is your wife in Texas?"

Not ready to divulge more than necessary until he found out the reason for the woman being in Texas, his reply was short. "Carla is not my wife Mae. She's someone I knew. A woman who is going to explain many things to me when I get there."

He pulled Mae up with him. "Come on Mae, let's get some rest."

"I can't." She pulled out of his reach. "I'm simpering like a fool, over what I'm not sure. This trip, this constant tiredness is affecting me in ways I'm not comfortable with. I will remain out here."

Why would she feel this way, after all? Why would his being married cause her any duress? Surely she'd lain with married men or men in relationships before? John tried to come up with a way to reason with her, but was at a loss. He failed at controlling his temper. "Damn it Mae you are being unreasonable, now come on. I won't allow you to remain out here alone."

She stood her ground, arms crossed, her bottom lip out and her brows knit. "No."

The urge to grab her and throw her over his shoulder became strong, however he held a reign on his anger. "Fine you know what, I won't force you to do anything you don't want to." The cold air made him angrier. "Ryan knows were are fighting, so I'll sleep on the bedroll by the campfire tonight. Go on to the wagon and sleep, I won't go near it. Not tonight. But tomorrow I will."

She eyed him for a few moments; her gaze filled with mistrust, then Mae got to her feet rounded him and headed back towards the wagon.

John remained rooted to the spot. Now what? Why didn't he keep Carla's existence to himself?

His leg throbbed and he bent to rub the wound on his calf. Another thing to thank Carla for. The woman was proving to be a colossal mistake.

Tomorrow he'd see about setting things straight with Mae. That her anger bothered him so much made him ponder his feelings for her. She'd become important to him. It was certainly a complication he didn't need. Her beauty was perhaps to blame. Even Ryan Jacobs, who was obviously very much in love with his wife, had been taken aback at first seeing Mae. John noticed the man's reaction, his eyes widening before he'd schooled his expression.

No doubt her exquisite flawless beauty was what affected him and why he felt the need to be always near her and keep track of her movements. That and her safety of course.

Someone as noticeable as Mae had to be kept safe; most men would take risks just to steal her away.

9

John is married. John McClain is a lying bastard, who is married and has a child. She didn't believe him when he later denied it. A sneer made her bare her teeth, and she cleared it away before Patty would notice it.

Once again, they were camped for the night after a day of riding in silence. Barely a word was shared between her and John. Truth be told, he had attempted to speak to her several times. However, each time she'd glared at him in response. He'd also apologized repeatedly for upsetting her, but had yet to explain why he'd not told her about his wife and child. What did it matter? She did not have any rights over the man. Yet for some reason, pushing away the anger at learning about the woman and child proved impossible.

When he'd kissed her back at the inn, she'd felt special as if it were they were the only two people in the world. Although there was no future for them, she at least expected over the time they'd become friends. He was special to her and she felt something extraordinary happened between them. Well at least it seemed so to her. Therefor it was now confirmed. She was a fool.

Something special bah! To John it was nothing more than a kiss with just any woman. One thing living in a brothel taught her was men didn't care about such things as a wife and children waiting at home for them. Their only concern was taking care of their physical needs.

She chanced a look to where John and Ryan stood skinning some rabbits, only to look away quickly when John glanced her way.