Page 228 of Red Marked

“I forgot about the smoke alarm. Koda wanted to get takeout instead.”

“He was twelve back then.” She gets this wistful look.

“He ate nine of my pancakes in the end. Would have been more, but your dad had to cut him off.” He shakes his head and steals a piece off her plate. “He still asks for them, you know.”

“I’m sure he does.” She takes a bite.

I swear I’ve got no business being here.

“Can I have more syrup?” she asks.

He hands her the jug. She pours it over the stack, and it runs off the edge and over two of her fingers. She lifts them toward her mouth, and he gets there first. He takes her hand, puts her fingers in his mouth, and licks them clean.

Something hot goes through me. I grit my teeth.

Why did I come here?

I’m an idiot!

I take a step back from the window. Then another.

There’s a clatter. His fork has hit the floor. He laughs at himself and slides off the stool and drops out of sight behind the island to get it.

And Star’s face changes.

Her mouth pulls down. Her nose wrinkles. She wipes her hand on her napkin, twice. I could swear that’s a look of disgust.

Then he’s up with the fork, and she’s smiling again like it never happened.

What did I just see?

Was it wishful thinking?

I wish I wasn’t second-guessing myself so much. It isn’t like me at all.

She puts a big piece of pancake in her mouth and groans. “I’m in heaven.”

“What do you feel like doing today?” He picks up his coffee. “Anything you want. Name it.”

“I’d like to go and see my parents.” She says it lightly. “Just for an hour. Can we?”

His face falls. He puts the cup down, takes her hand, and holds it on the counter.

“Babe, I wish we could. You know I do. I just don’t think you’re ready.”

What the fuck?

What does that mean?

He stood in my doorway last night and told me about how her mother cried for ten minutes. Star told me herself that she was up half the night with them. So what isn’t she ready for? A second visit?

“Let’s take it slow,” he’s saying. “How about I run you a bath? That tub’s huge. It could easily fit both of us. Then we can talk about it afterward.” His hand goes onto her thigh. He leans in, and his eyes drop to her mouth.

Fuck.

Star shoves a forkful of pancake into her mouth before he’s halfway there. A big one. She chews with her cheeks full and her eyes wide.

“I’m more of a shower girl,” she says once she’s swallowed. “You know that.” She giggles.