Page 212 of Red Marked

“You were in a jungle fighting for your life. How could you possibly think clearly?” He isn’t crying anymore. His hands are moving, cutting the air. “It must have been terrifying up in those mountains. You’ve been surviving day to day. Of course you’ve changed. You’re still running on adrenaline, Star. You haven’t stopped long enough to feel anything. So, no. I’m not accepting this. I can’t. I refuse. Not until you take some time.”

My heart takes off.

Cold prickles in my veins.

“What did you just say?” I narrow my eyes.

He frowns. “I said I’m begging you not to give up on us so quickly.”

“Before that. You said it must have been terrifying in the mountains.”

“It must have been, my love. Please. Let me just—” He reaches for me. There is a gold watch on his arm. The one he often wears.

Holy shit!

I step back. “How did you know I was in the mountains?” My voice has gone hard.

He laughs. “You told me, Star. How else would I know?” He shrugs.

“That’s the thing. I didn’t.” My mouth has gone dry. “I said jungle. I only ever said jungle. Nobody said mountains. You couldn’t have known that.” My voice drops. “Unless…”

My skin goes cold. Ice moves through my veins.

“You were involved.” I hear myself say it in a rushed whisper. “It was you. Don’t you dare lie to me.”

It’s on his face. I can see it there.

“You’re being ridiculous. I had nothing to do with⁠—”

“I know when you’re lying, Jett. I know every tell you’ve got. I know you.”

He breathes in through his nose. Out. His shoulders drop.

“Fine.” He says it to the floor. “Fine. I knew. I knew because I sent you there.”

I make a strangled sobbing noise. I clamp my hand over my mouth to stop the next one.

Heat floods my face and my neck and my chest. My pulse is booming in my ears.

I can’t believe it.

I never would have thought.

Not for a second.

“It was you,” I whisper.

“The Mainland wanted all of you dead,” he says. “All twenty-four of you, that same day. No loose ends. I saved you. I had Halleron take you into the mountains instead. I knew you’d stand a chance up there. I saved you, Star.”

“How could you?” I hit his chest with both hands. He rocks back. “It was you! My parents went through hell because of you. Koda grew up without me because of you.” I shove him again, harder, and he staggers into the arm of the sofa. “I lived through hell while everyone I love thought I was dead. You say you love me. How could you love someone and do that to them?”

“I do love you. I love you so much.” His eyes are huge. “Losing you was hell for me too. How do you think I felt? I lost the love of my life, and I knew exactly where you were, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was like living in a nightmare.”

“But you did it anyway.”

“I had no choice! The Mainland wanted it buried. They wanted you buried. You’re alive because of me.” He hits his chest.

“Thanks for nothing.” I spit it back at him. “You could have stopped it. You could have done something. Anything.”