Page 66 of Savage Heart

“Come on, you’re gonna be eighteen. We should have a party,” he says.

“Nah,” I say, standing up and grabbing my tray. “I don’t need a party. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Where are you going?” Lincoln asks.

I walk away and hear him saying, “Hey, give me that sandwich. You hardly ate that!”

I keep walking right out of the cafeteria and am at my locker before I realize I’m still carrying the tray.

The night of prom is a beautiful May night. I ended up asking Christa Evans. In the end, I couldn’t ask Zoey . . . because I do think she kind of likes me, and that just felt too weird.

“Look at you,” my dad says, sizing me up. He nods in approval. “Looking mighty fine, Son.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I tug on my tie, already wishing I could take it off.

He studies me. “You haven’t been yourself lately. Got something on your mind?”

I can’t contain the long exhale.

“Oh goodness.” He chuckles. “Okay, lay it on me.”

“It’s nothing. I just . . . I don’t want to go. I’ve got this date. I didn’t want to ask her. I mean, she’s fine, but . . . I’d just rather not go.”

“You’re taking Christa, you said?”

“Yeah.”

“And Lincoln is taking Iris?”

I nod. “Yeah,” I drag out.

“You don’t seem happy about that.”

“I wanted to ask Iris.” I slump against the counter, and he moves next to me.

“So why didn’t you?”

I sigh and am quiet for a long time. Finally, I just let it all out.

“Last summer, we spent every day together. It was different. I thought she liked me. It seemed like she did. She flirted, and one day . . . we kissed.”

I glance at him to see how that hits him, but he just listens.

“But then she said we probably shouldn’t do that since we’re best friends . . . so we don’t mess anything up between us.”

“Did you tell her how you feel?”

“I—no. I thought she knew and maybe was trying to let me down easily. Or she really was scared that it would mess up our friendship. I don’t know . . . but I left it alone and haven’t brought it up again. And then Lincoln asks her—I thought if anything, we’d just all three go together. But Lincoln and Iris said I should ask Zoey Samuels, which I didn’t—” I pause to catch my breath and press my fingers against my eyes. “I’m rambling, sorry.”

He moves in front of me and puts his hand on my shoulder. He has to look up a little bit now because I’ve gotten so tall.

“Son, if you have feelings for Iris, you should tell her. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.” He grins. “Now, tonight’s probably not the night. And to be honest, it probably won’t be for a while.”

He gives me a sympathetic look.

“You’re about to part ways this fall, and I hope you’ll fully enjoy the college experience . . . which means you don’t need to have your heart all consumed by each other. And I’d say the same thing to her too. Go to school, have fun, learn all you can, experience life . . . and if you still have all these feelings when you get home and are settled back in Ironwood . . . then you tell her. Then you make your move.”

He squeezes my shoulder and waits for me to say something, but I can’t. Four years feels like forever to wait to tell her how I feel. But I guess I’ve waited this long.