Page 44 of Savage Heart

“What look?” I ask, too fast.

Zoey’s voice softens. “Like you’ve just lost everything you ever cared about all over again.”

I shake my head. “That’s bullshit. Helping someone through a panic attack doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

“It kind of does,” she says. “Especially when you were the only one who could reach her just now. She didn’t even notice that I was here.”

Silence stretches between us.

“I stopped caring about Iris Sullivan a long time ago,” I say.

It sounds like I’m trying to convince myself.

Zoey doesn’t argue. “Maverick . . . I’ve gotten to know you a little bit over the years. I’ve seen a lot of your expressions, in bed and out of it, and let me tell you, you’ve never once looked at me the way you’ve always looked at Iris. Not when we were in high school, not when we tried to see what we could be, and not now. Not even close.”

She steps a little closer.

“You were locked onto her like the world had just narrowed down to the two of you.”

“Zoey . . . that was different,” I mutter.

She smiles, but her eyes fill with tears. What the hell is going on tonight?

“I’ve always wondered why we couldn’t be more. I wished we could be, hoped we would be one day—that can’t be any great surprise to you. But I can see now that’s never going to happen. And honestly?” She shrugs. “I care about you too much to continue being a distraction for you.”

She starts down the steps, then pauses and looks back.

“I always thought you were in love with her back then.”

“That was a long time ago. And everything changed . . . because of her.”

“Seems like everything but your feelings changed,” she says. “Maybe it’s time to let the rest go.”

I stare out into the dark night. I can’t let it go.

“Good night, Maverick.”

Then she’s gone.

I stand there for a minute, heart hammering. I can’t believe I’m still here, wondering if Iris is okay. This is just an off night all the way around. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t more to it than that.

Tonight is the first time I’ve seen Iris having any kind of meaningful interaction with another man. Seeing her dance with Dalton shook me. I felt this unreasonable need to touch her, to make her aware of me, to shake her up as much as she does me.

And now that I know how it feels to have my hands on her body, even for those brief minutes, it doesn’t feel like it’ll ever be enough for me. As much as I hate to admit it, Zoey was also right about one thing. Iris and I stared at each other like lifelines.

I don’t know what any of it means, and I’m afraid to find out.

Chapter 11: Metamorphosis

Maverick, age eleven

The phone rings once, and my eyes snap open. I check, and yep, it’s Iris. It’s our code. I get up and quickly throw on my clothes.

She doesn’t call nearly as much as she should—I know this from the way she often has dark circles under her eyes, or how sometimes she’ll go quiet for a few days. In those times, I want more than anything to get her out of that dark little trailer and away from her mom.

But sometimes, if she can’t sleep or if she’s had a rough night with her mom, she calls, and I go to her.

I’m careful not to make the floor creak. Grady just got his own room, and Cameron and I share one now. He sleeps more soundly than Grady, who caught me sneaking out a few times—but he never snitched.