Page 26 of Savage Heart

Before I know it, it’s time for dinner, and it always shocks me how the house fills up with so many people.

Evelyn puts her hand on my shoulder and leads me to the front.

“You get to go first, before all these men pile their plates high.” She laughs and looks behind me. “I’m giving Iris first dibs, men.”

They all grumble and I look back in alarm, but Teddy, one of the wranglers who’s always teasing me, laughs and leans down.

“We don’t mean it,” he says. “Help yourself, little lady.”

Jennifer scoops the food onto my plate. I say yes to everything because I know by now that I love whatever Jennifer and Evelyn cook. Tonight it’s meat and potatoes and salad and a fruit thing and bread and this corn stuff that is so good . . . and then after all that, there’s apple pie!

This time my belly does hurt by the time I’m done, but I ate it all. I won’t have to eat for years after eating so good today.

I don’t even know who to listen to because everywhere I turn, someone is telling a funny story. There’s so much laughing at this table, I think maybe even my mom could be happy here.

On the way home, my chest buzzes. It’s been such a fun day—it always is when I visit the ranch. I wish I could tell Mom all about it. When she’s in a good mood, she listens. Sometimes she smiles and asks questions, like she’s trying to picture it.

I wave at the boys, Evelyn, and Jennifer when they drop me off. It’s quiet when I open the door.

The air smells yucky. I step inside slowly and see a man coming out of the bathroom. I don’t know him, but lots of guys visit. He doesn’t say anything, just goes to the door and looks back at my mom before walking out.

Mom’s stretched out on the couch, staring at the TV. Empty bottles are on the floor, and some of the liquid has spilled from one of them.

I take my shoes off like I’m supposed to and walk over.

“Mom. I’m home.”

She squints at me like I’m far away and straightens her red lacy gown. She wears this or a black one when men are here.

“You’re late,” she says.

“I-I was at the ranch,” I say quickly. “We rode horses today, and Maverick let me—”

Her face changes.

I know this look. This is not a day when she wants to listen.

“How many times”—she sits up too fast and holds her head—“are you gonna talk about that place?”

“I just wanted to tell you that it was a fun day.” I swallow hard.

“Of course it was. You’re always over there. Always wishing you were someone else’s kid.”

“That’s not—” My throat hurts. “I just like it there.”

She stands, swaying. “You think you’re better than this? Than me?”

“No.” I shake my head.

She takes a step toward me and stumbles. Her foot catches on the edge of the rug. I reach out to try to stop her, but it doesn’t work.

She goes down hard.

The sound is awful.

“Mom!” I scream.

She doesn’t answer.