Page 19 of Savage Heart

“We’ll have to set something up for you guys to see each other this summer. Hey,” I say, sitting next to him. “I have a surprise.”

He sits up straighter. “What kind?”

“The good kind.” I tuck a piece of hair behind his ear. “I might’ve heard about a way you can go to the Harrington camp after all.”

He gasps. “Really?”

“Oh . . . would you be interested in that?” I tease.

He nods ecstatically.

“Even if it means feeding the horses every day at five thirty in the morning and five thirty in the evening?”

His eyes widen. “Really? They’d let me feed the horses every day?”

“Sure will. They need help, but it’d be a big commitment. Every single day of the summer. That’s a lot.”

His chin trembles. And then he starts to cry. Hard. He covers his face with both hands.

“Oh no! Well, you don’t have to—”

His head pops up, and his splotchy face kills me. “I’m just so excited. This is a dream come true. I thought we couldn’t afford it, and I wanted to go so bad. I can’t believe it’s happening.”

He hugs me hard, squeezing me with everything he has.

I shake my head and start to laugh. “Maybe I should learn to trust that it’s all going to be okay the next time we’re in a pickle. Things do always seem to work out for us, don’t they? In one way or another.”

“Usually at the last minute.” He laughs too. “Like that time I needed new gym shoes, and we found those shoes on our walking path . . . in my size. And-and the time we had that hospital bill when I broke my leg that we were nervous about . . . and we ended up not owing anything.” He grins at me. “We’ve got it pretty good.”

“Listen to you. You’re so right. How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“We’re both lucky,” he says, leaning closer. “Thank you, Mom. Thank you. This is the best news ever. I’m so, so happy!”

I kiss the top of his head.

“I’m so happy for you, bud. You deserve it. You deserve all the best things, always.”

And just like that, the weight I’ve been carrying and the interactions I’ve had melt away. It’s enough to keep going another day.

When I get in bed, I pick up the frame I keep on my nightstand, the same way I do every night. It’s the one delusional moment I allow myself. When I pretend I’m talking to my two best friends who aren’t anymore.

It’s Lincoln, Maverick, and me at the rodeo. I’m between both of them, and we’re all laughing. My head is tilted just slightly toward Maverick, like he’d just gotten done saying something low under his breath. He liked to do that to catch me off guard and make me laugh. I wish I could remember what was said.

The picture is before I found out I was pregnant.

“Hey,” I say, running my thumb over the edge of the frame. “It’s been a crazy day, but it ended up being a good one. Sometimes I can’t get over how much Linc is growing. He’s such an amazing kid, Lincoln. He’s empathetic and kind . . . and so smart. And he’s funny, like you.”

I smile at our young faces.

“You’d love him so much.”

My eyes blur, and I swallow hard before bursting out laughing.

“Doesn’t have the slightest bit of interest in playing football, though. That would hurt your heart a little bit because has he ever got an arm on him! He can throw that thing just like you could at his age, and he runs really fast. But nope . . . the cowboy life is the life for him. Or so he thinks. We’ll see how he feels getting up at the crack of dawn to feed the horses.”

I sigh and wipe my cheeks.

“I know, I can’t believe it either. It looks like no matter what happens, something will always take me back to Harrington Ranch. I wish you were here to see him grow up.”