Page 26 of Camera Stays On

We went upstairs, and my stomach twisted in knots as I spotted the door that had once been his room. I said a silent prayer that he didn’t assume I’d be sharing a room with him, and breathed a sigh of relief when he passed it, and then another, and finally reached the one at the far end of the hall.

“It’s the smallest room, but I hope you like it.” He turned the knob and pushed the door open. As the door swung open, a gust of air blew into my face that smelled like mildew and floral air freshener. I coughed, and Sawyer waved the air in front of us, apologizing.

“Sorry, the stuff was a little old. Didn’t have much time to unpack or do a deep clean.”

The smell faded as I went nose-blind, and I stepped into the room. Boxes lined the wall with my name on them in a familiar handwriting.

“Did you get those from Angel’s house?” I turned and froze, seeing the familiar bedspread lying across the bed. Blue, with yellow moons and stars. Unease and panic slammed into me, and I spun around. “Sawyer, what is this?”

“They were having an auction for your mom’s storage unit, and I bought it all. Thought you’d need something to get you started here. You know, since the fire took it all.”

“Yes, but...” Why would I want all the things I left behind? I didn’t take them for a reason.

Sawyer brushed past me, going inside. I turned my head to the hallway, considering leaving, but the check in my pocket held me in place. He walked from the dresser over to the bed and plopped down, putting his hands under his head. “We spent a lot of time in this bed. It wasn’t hard to dredge up those memories.” The sultry tone in his voice sent ice through my veins. He narrowed his gaze, and I recalled that look like an old nightmare.

I backed toward the door. Steeling myself, I opened my mouth. “Sawyer, I’m unc-c-c-comfortable.” My breathing became labored as my heart sped up.

He sat up fast, frowning. “Oh, come on. Come sit.” He patted the spot beside him. I didn’t want to sit with him. He repeated the request, his voice sharper this time, jaw tight. When he saw I wasn’t going to move from the door, he stood and came to me, taking me by the wrist and tugging me to the bed. Squeezing my wrist, he urged me to sit. It wasn’t until I finally did that his face relaxed.

“I thought you’d like it. I took time off film prep to move it all in here myself.” He pouted. I inhaled deeply.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to do all of this. I would be fine sleeping on the couch. Or, if you let me cash the check early, I’ll pay for a hotel. And I can get all new things.”

He cut me off and shook his head. “No, no, don’t cash that check. You’re staying here until we start filming, and then we’ll be on location. There are plenty of rooms in Asher’s haunt. Come on, doesn’t it feel kind of crazy to look back at all this?” He smiled, the dimple on one side revealing itself. I used to find that dimple charming. Now, it was almost a little sickening.

“There were a lot of firsts on these sheets...” He reached out and put his hand on my thigh. I tried to push him away, but he clamped down. I stiffened and swallowed but stayed still. I was almost sure he could see me shaking. He began to trail up, and I looked toward the ceiling, praying to a god who had never been there for me to be here now.

“Do you remember the first time I fingered you? After Johnny Allen’s house party? You were so drunk and wet. It was fucking perfection...”

I grimaced. The contents in this room held mostly bad memories for me. Nights of putting the pillows over my ears so I didn’t hear my mom getting sloppy drunk with people downstairs. Or the numerous times she locked me in there during one of her many drug binges. There were times I spent days in there, using a cup to pee and dumping it out the window, and surviving on food I’d hoarded under my bed. It was shameful and embarrassing, and despite what Sawyer seemed to recall, this wasn’t fun for me.

Sawyer leaned in, his stubbled jaw brushing against mine, and it was then I saw the large white garment bag hanging from a hook, and next to it... I shoved him away and stood.

“No. I—this is weird.” I put my hands on my temples and spun around, closing my eyes to avoid seeing the dress. “Why—Sawyer, we’re not kids anymore. We’re not even dating. I don’t understand—” Complete sentences weren’t coming together in my brain. He stood, came over, and attempted to wrap his arms around me. I shoved him away.

“Please, stop.” I put my hand up and stepped back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his phone leaning up against the dresser mirror. “Are you f-f-f-filming this?”

He stared at me, seemingly in confusion. His brows furrowed as he shook his head.

“I was just trying to be nice and have a little fun, Purdy. We can get you new blankets.”

Completely backing out of the room, I shook my head. “It’s not fun for me, and it’s not about the blankets. I don’t know what you’re t-t-t—” I snapped my mouth shut to calm down.

Taking a moment, I spoke again.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk.” Sawyer started to follow, and on the stairs, I paused, turned around, and sighed deeply. “Alone.”

Chapter 11

Andi

I RAN OUT of the house as if it had caught fire and not the theater I’d called home for the last few years. The warm, early fall air made me want to go back inside.

“Purdy!” Sawyer followed me out. “Stop! At least come grab your key.”

I spun around, coming face to face with him holding up a golden house key. I snatched it from him. “Don’t wait up for me and stop fucking filming me.”

“Where are you going? How late are you gonna be?”