Page 104 of Vengefully Matched

“Go on,” said Agatha, a glint in her eye. “Is it about the Fountain of Youth elixir?”

“Bravo! I can see why they made you president.” He eyed Priscilla. “No offense intended.”

“None taken,” said Priscilla dryly. “She’s a far better president than I would ever make.”

Agatha blushed, smiling at her. And for a second, Priscilla forgot the devil and his distractions.

“Focus, ladies!” Lex frowned. “I’m trying to make amends here. And since Vickie and Azrael don’t need me, I’m going to help you.”

“Why would you do that?” Priscilla narrowed her eyes at him.

He sighed. “Let’s just say I’ve made a very unusual bargain with a human who is insisting that I rethink some things. She’s very persuasive. And part of what makes humans so human, I guess, is their ability to change. So I am going to be helpful.” He said that last word like it pained him a little, and she had to resist the urge to laugh.

She, mouthed Agatha to Priscilla, and Lex glared.

“Help us, then.”

He dragged a hand over his face. “I don’t know who, but someone close to you, close to the Council, is immortal.”

“Yes, we figured that.”

“It’s someone with magic.”

“Also figured that. Do you have any information we don’t know?”

“I’m not a bloody mind reader! You’d need your Madam Cleopatra for that.”

“That,” said Agatha, “is a really good idea.”

“See?” Lex preened. “Helpful.”

“It’s so good an idea that we have obviously already tried it. She can’t see who it is, and if she did figure it out, she’d tell us right away.”

“Dammit,” said Lex. “This is why I don’t bother helping people. I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got. Unless you’d like to know how to deal with the person once you’ve caught them. That I can advise on.”

“What the fuck?” said Priscilla. “Obviously, we want to know that.”

Lex sniffed. “If you’re going to be prickly, I don’t have to be helpful. I’m trying to do a good thing here, thank you very much.”

“It’s all right,” said Agatha, patting him on the arm. “We appreciate you.”

The devil examined his fingernails for a moment.

“Well, the only thing to do is to separate the body parts and store them in secure magical locations far enough apart that they can’t get back together on their own.”

“Separate the body parts?” Priscilla had a horrible flashback to the unfortunate incident with the chainsaw in the greenhouse, and the memory of the loss of the top of her left pinky made her shudder.

“Of course!” exclaimed Agatha. “That all makes sense now. I read an odd footnote recommending storage of immortal body parts in the Compendium of Forbidden Magics, volume three, chapter fourteen, and I just assumed it was some sort of weird kink, but it is actual instructions. Brilliant.”

“It can be a weird kink and instructive,” said Lex petulantly, but Priscilla ignored him.

“How do you recommend we separate them?”

He shrugged. “How should I know? I’ve actually never dismembered an immortal, believe it or not.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Everything I do with members leaves them very much attached, I guarantee.”

Prissy gagged a little.

“Focus,” said Agatha. “Anything else you can tell us?”