Page 26 of Counting Down To You

He hands it back to me without a word, before moving his chair away.

“What was that for?” I ask, somewhat baffled.

“To give you an option. Use it or don’t.”

I turn the phone over in my hands. A part of me wants to smile, that he did it. That he wants to help make Adam jealous, even if that wasn’t the real reason behind my actions.

“So how long do you want to keep this up for?” I ask, continuing my attempt to lay down some guidelines.

“Well,” he says mildly, “given you’re leaving in less than four weeks, not very long I’m guessing.”

I chew my lip, wanting a more concrete answer than that. Like he can tell, he smiles a little. “It’s up to you,” he says. “A couple of weeks? Then it can just fade out. And I’m sure you’ll get lots of sympathy from plenty of people around here—meaning you’re guaranteed a fun last couple of weeks.”

I twist my glass on the table. “Won’t that hurt your…reputation?”

“Guess I’ll deal with that when it comes.” He doesn’t sound all that concerned, given that’s the reason he suggested this whole thing in the first place.

“What is your reputation?” I prod.

He seems to think this over. “People only see me one way,” he says slowly. He gives me a small, lopsided smile. “I didn’t used to care all that much.”

“But now you do?”

He looks at me like he’s trying to see more than just my face. Then he nods, firmly. “Now I do.”

Why? What changed?

Before I can ask, he’s gesturing toward my glass. “I’m guessing you don’t like whiskey.”

I grimace. “No. Sorry. I should have been more specific.”

His mouth does that near-smile thing again. It’s a bit bizarre, how fascinated I am with his mouth. “Do you want something else?”

“I can get it,” I say quickly, but he’s already on his feet.

“What do you like?”

“Gin and tonic?” I say it like a question. For God’s sake, Ali.

He nods. “Coming up.”

While he heads back to the bar, I allow myself to look at the photo of us together. The lighting is dim, but he is one of those people who looks good in low lighting. I look okay too, I think. I’m a little flushed from the cold, and it’s captured me as I’m glancing toward him while he smiles, his face bent down to mine.

I stare at it. I don’t have to post it. There is no challenge to make me this time.

But I can imagine Robyn, egging me on. And maybe a part of me really does want to make Adam jealous. Or, at least, wants to prove that I am fun. Maybe a part of me wants him to regret the way he treated me.

The music seems to have grown louder, swelling around me. But it’s not the band that I hear. It’s mine and Robyn’s song, pounding a rhythm in my head.

Fuck it, I think. And I post it.

Chapter

8

Despite the fact I didn’t have much to drink and was in bed by midnight, I wake the next morning feeling groggy. Probably a cumulative effect of the tiredness catching up to me and all the social interaction with people I don’t know. Thankfully, today is my first day off—and I intend to spend as much of it alone as possible.

I’ve managed to figure out the heating, so I relish the feel of the cabin warming up as I pull my calendar toward me.