Page 28 of Always, in December

He hadn’t asked, and Josie knew he wouldn’t, that he wasn’t expecting any explanation, but now that they were here, huddled up in their little corner with the sound of George’s laughter reaching them from the other end of the bar, Josie found she actually wanted to talk about it. She lifted the wooden straw in her cocktail and gave it a little stir. ‘He never told me,’ she said on a sigh.

He nodded, that poker face already in play. ‘Yeah, I got that impression.’

‘I think he tried to.’ Josie stopped playing with the straw, glanced up at him. ‘I’m not sure how I feel about it.’

His eyes were level on hers. ‘About the fact he didn’t tell you, or the fact he’s moving to America?’

Josie pulled a hand through her hair. ‘Either. Both. I just . . .’ She waved that same hand in the air, then dropped it into her lap.

‘I don’t think there’s a law that says you have to decide how you feel after news like that within the next hour.’ She snorted quietly, looking down at her hands in her lap. ‘And it’s ok, you know, if you both hate him and wish he wasn’t leaving at the same time.’

She picked up her straw again, deciding to risk another sip. ‘Been in a similar situation, have you?’ He shrugged and she immediately grimaced – he’d told her, hadn’t he, that his girlfriend had broken up with him in May? ‘Sorry,’ she said quickly.

But he only laughed, shaking his head at her grimace. ‘It’s ok. This year has been pretty . . . rough, I’ll admit. But then, if none of it had happened, maybe I wouldn’t be here with you now.’ He reached out, tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and let his fingertips trail lightly down her neck, leaving little shivers behind. He grinned. ‘And then I would have missed out on a fancy work party and free drinks.’

Josie let out a breath. ‘Couldn’t be having that,’ she said, trying to match his easy tone. ‘And hey,’ she added, gesturing with her cocktail, ‘maybe you’ll bump into Oliver while you’re visiting your parents – at least he’ll have one friend there, right?’

‘Totally. I’ll send him a Facebook message, we can go to a Knicks game or something – I mean, the guy is just dying to be my friend, I could tell.’

Josie snorted and picked up her drink again, realising that her tongue was tingling just a little bit, her head starting to feel pleasantly buzzed. A reason to keep drinking, she decided, all things considered.

‘I think you might have gone, you know.’ She paused in the act of drinking, the straw still between her lips, to look at him. His gaze was totally locked on hers in a way that made it impossible to look away. His mouth crooked up into a small smile and she felt heat rush to her face. The skin on the back of her neck tingled. ‘I think you might have more adventure in you than you give yourself credit for.’ Then he turned to nod at George as George held up a bottle of beer, and Josie unfroze, setting her drink down and letting her breath out on a whoosh. ‘I mean,’ Max said, his voice light again, ‘you came to the beach with me, what’s more adventurous than that?’

‘Well, I suppose adventure’s one word for risking frostbite and pneumonia by paddling in the ice-cold water.’

Max grinned. ‘I still have all ten toes, don’t I?’

She glanced down at his shoes and shrugged. ‘I’ve yet to see concrete proof of that.’

They stayed for another two drinks, George refusing to let them leave, though Josie switched to one of the mocktails for the second one, not wanting to get completely plastered and do something embarrassing in front of Max. She was laughing when they got into the taxi, the chill of the night air slightly taking her breath away. The party now seemed like a vague memory, like it had happened on a different night entirely, though Josie was sure that, if she focused on it, the whole thing would come racing back into humiliating focus. Better, then, not to think of it at all, and to concentrate instead on the way Max was holding her hand, tracing circles on her skin with his thumb, on the feel of his leg pressed next to hers as he sat in the middle seat, right next to her. She should feel tired, she supposed, given the lateness of the hour, but she felt overly alert, like her whole body was waiting. At some point, without her realising it, the haziness of the cocktails had left her, leaving her mind clear and, like her body, intensely focused on the heat of Max’s body next to hers.

When they reached her block of flats he got out of the taxi too, and, after saying something to the driver that she didn’t quite catch, followed her up the stairs. Neither of them said anything, and now that he was no longer touching her, the air between them felt strangely electric. It seemed to take her several minutes to find her keys in her bag, though surely it couldn’t have actually been that long, and she refused to look at him the whole time, not sure what she’d see on his face if she did, not wanting him to kiss her goodbye and then leave, as he’d done last night. When she did eventually find them, it took her two attempts to get the key in the lock because her fingers weren’t quite steady, so that Max gave up waiting and did it for her.

He went through the door ahead of her, still holding her keys, and then turned to look at her. His eyes were measured as he stepped towards her, his expression straight and even as she tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. He reached out, brushed her hair back away from her face. ‘You look beautiful, you know.’ His voice was low, husky. ‘I should have told you that at the beginning of the night.’

‘Better late than never.’ She was surprised at how level she sounded, given the way her heart was beating right now.

His lips did that twitching that she’d recently decided was a smile as he ran his hand down the length of her arm. And then he was kissing her and without even thinking about it she hooked her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer to him. Dimly, she heard the door closing behind her and realised they’d walked back into it, that she was pressed between him and it, his hands now on her bare arms as she stripped off her coat. There was the sound of her keys dropping to the floor and she didn’t care enough to look for them, to make sure that the door was locked properly, because that would mean she had to stop kissing him. It was him who pulled away, and she was relieved that she was not the only one breathing heavily.

‘The taxi is downstairs, waiting for me,’ he said, his voice hitching a little. She felt her stomach drop, her throat tightening immediately, though she managed to press her lips together and nod. He didn’t try to move away, though, just reached out to touch her hair again, his eyes on hers the whole time. So, knowing that she may well be setting herself up for a sting, knowing that she shouldn’t risk it because she was already vulnerable and a rejection the night before Christmas might well send her over the edge, Josie took a breath, cocked her head, and smiled.

‘Or you could stay.’

Max considered her for a moment, then gave her a slow grin. ‘Or I could stay.’ She laughed, just a tiny bit breathlessly, as he kissed her again.

Chapter Nine

Josie woke while it was still dark – or as dark as it got here, anyway. Max had rolled away from her slightly in the night, but she could still feel the heat of him next to her, his fingers lightly touching hers. His breathing was heavy, so it seemed safe to say he was still asleep. And under the duvet, he was very, very naked. As was she.

She blinked a few times, trying to wake her eyes up, then shifted her body carefully away from his, trying to create as little movement on the bed as possible. She hesitated at the edge of it, biting her lip as she watched the shape of Max’s body. He looked asleep, and she didn’t know why he’d be faking it. So she stepped lightly onto the lino floor, sucking her breath in through her teeth as the freezing temperature outside the protection of her bed hit her. She tiptoed as quietly as she could across the room, grabbing some leggings and a top along the way. When she made it successfully to the other side of the bedroom door she blew out a slightly shaky breath, then pretty much ran to the bathroom, wincing at the cold air on her bare skin.

It was a relief to switch the bathroom light on and see what she was doing as she quickly tugged on her leggings and top. She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She supposed no one looked good the morning after, but it didn’t help that her mascara and eyeliner had smudged under her eyes, that her light layer of foundation had cracked in places, and that her lips were slightly swollen. She touched them lightly and grinned despite herself. That bit she didn’t have as much issue with.

She set to work on her face, washing it clear of last night’s residue and applying a light layer of BB cream to smooth out her skin, then attacked her hair and brushed her teeth before nodding to herself. Better. At least when he woke now she wouldn’t look quite as much like a dirty stop-out.

She tiptoed back into the bedroom, but there was no need – Max blinked at her through the darkness as she came in. ‘It’s cold without you here,’ he complained, his voice groggy from sleep.

‘Sorry,’ she whispered, the dark and cold somehow impressing the need to be quiet, like somehow she’d wake the other houses up too early if she spoke at a normal volume. Though she supposed many would be up already, children running excitedly into their parents’ room with stockings, determined to start Christmas Day as early as possible. She only had vague memories of doing that, before the accident. She shook her head away from the memory. ‘I didn’t switch the heating on last night,’ she said apologetically. ‘I forgot.’