Page 99 of Everything She Wanted

“I’ll see you at nine-thirty.”

I look at Matt, confused.

“Nick’s not coming in today or maybe this whole week. He got called in on a big project for another client. He asked me to step in.”

I feel a flicker of disappointment even though I don’t want to see him. “Oh, I’ll see you in a bit then.”

He smiles and walks away, and I head to my office. I drop my bag on my desk before sitting on my chair and pulling out my phone.

First, I check a message from Rachel.

Nick came by last night to get his car and stuff.

So don’t stress.

I reply:

Thanks, Rach. You’re the best.

Eshaan tagged me in a few Stories. I swipe through them and look through my list of viewers, looking for only one name. Nick saw a couple. The one with Rachel and me, and then the one with Eshaan that was captioned: “Countdown’s on until I put a ring on it.” He has his arms around me, and we’re both smiling and looking at the camera. It doesn’t feel like me. It’s someone else whose life I’m living in an alternate reality where I don’t have to worry about gorgeous assholes and clingy exes. Then I look up Sonia and see that she’s still following Eshaan and liking all his posts, including the ones with me. I look at her grid and scroll through, seeing that she has kept pictures of herself and Eshaan up there.

Why the fuck would she do that?

Something doesn’t sit right. I sit there ruminating. What if there’s more going on between them than he’s telling me? So many nights I’ve been away for work, and it would have been easy for him to do anything, and for me not to even find out about it—just like it was easy for me to end up in Nick’s arms. The difference is that I would never cross that line.

You almost did.

I push away the thought, not wanting to go there. Before I can fall deeper into this black hole of worry, Matt slides up to my door.

“Ready?”

“Ready.” I follow him into the hallway and down to the meeting room. My fucked-up life can wait.

34. #Awkward

Nick’s been MIA for a week, and I ignore the familiar pang I feel whenever I walk by his office. Instead, I focus on the day ahead.

I look forward to my meetings with Matt. He’s fun and goofy, and Nick was right, he doesn’t always watch what comes out of his mouth, which is refreshing when everyone is so buttoned up at the office, trying to get an edge and get ahead.

I get there early and sit in the same spot as I always do, in the middle of the large boardroom with the glass walls. I start setting up my laptop and pulling up the meme I can’t wait to show Matt when I hear him enter.

“Matt, you’re going to love this cat meme I found.” I smile at my screen and look up, but it’s not Matt standing there, it’s Nick. He hovers hesitantly at the door.

“Matt’s going to be a little late. He’s just finishing up a call.”

He walks in and finds a spot across from me, and suddenly, the large boardroom is too small. I can’t get a breath. I remind myself that the walls are glass, and if I just take a few strides, I can be out the door. It helps with the anxiety. Then I take a calming breath. I’m not going to let Nick upset me anymore.

Nick logs in to his computer, and I pretend there’s something fascinating on my screen, waiting for the awkward moment to pass.

He breaks the silence. “Just so you know, I’m not taking the extension.”

I don’t know what to say, so I blurt the first thing that comes out of my mouth with more coldness than I intended. “Oh...why’s that exactly?”

I give him a level look and, for the first time, take in his dishevelled appearance. Every day since he started here, he’s been dressed like he just walked out of GQ, but today, dark lines surround his bright eyes, and his hair is out of place instead of expertly styled. Even his shirt looks rumpled, as if he couldn’t be bothered.

I worry if everything is okay, even though he’s not mine to worry over.

“I just feel like it’s for the best, I guess.” The unsaid words linger in the air: So you don’t have to stress about me anymore.