Page 94 of Everything She Wanted

I don’t want her to leave my side, but I nod, staring into nothingness until she returns with a steaming, fragrant cup and places it on the coffee table in front of me.

“Tell me what happened,” she says, pulling up one of the suede pink ottomans to sit next to me. She takes my hand, and her touch immediately makes me feel safe. “Did you break up with Eshaan?”

“What? No, that’s not happening.” Not now. Not ever.

I tell her everything that’s been going on with Nick, and I don’t hold back this time. I tell her about the sauna, the club, the hotel rooms and even the night out at the symphony. I tell her everything I overheard with Matt, even though it’s embarrassing to share, and even how Tom almost walked in on us. I let it all out, all the shame, humiliation, and guilt, knowing that other than Sunny, she’s the only person I know who won’t judge me.

The worst part is that this time I have no excuses. I am no longer young, naïve, and inexperienced with men. I know the warning signs. I can tell when a relationship is headed nowhere, when it’s meaningless, but somehow, I still can’t stop myself from falling for Nick. He makes me feel seen and understood in a way that I haven’t before, but it’s my fault entirely for thinking that this could ever be something more. This time I’m damaging more than myself. I’m also setting fire to my one chance at happiness and for what? For nothing.

I wipe tears from my eyes. “I was so upset that Shaan exchanged a few texts with his ex, and here I am doing all of this behind his back.”

Her eyes narrow in on me. “What texts?” I remember that I didn’t tell her because I know she has reservations about Eshaan, so I stopped sharing things that paint him in a bad light.

“It was a while ago now, and it doesn’t matter. They were harmless, and he told me nothing was going on.”

The look of suspicion and doubt only deepens in Rachel’s eyes. “Nish.” She hesitates. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up with you, and I know you’ve been through a lot, but I think we need to talk about this.”

I take a sip of my tea. I’m not ready for Rachel’s truths. Not yet. “What time is it?” I ask, hoping to delay this conversation she wants us to have.

“Five-thirty.”

“Thank god.” I relax back in my chair.

“Why?”

“You know, we’re finalizing everything for the engagement party today, remember?”

“Oh, that’s tonight?”

I swat her gently, knowing she remembers.

“I’m kidding. I’ve had it blocked off in my calendar for like two months.”

“We should get ready.” I take a few more sips of tea.

“I guess we should.” I can tell she’s struggling and wanting to tell me what’s on her mind. I plead with her silently, Please not tonight. “Promise we’ll talk later, though.”

“I promise.”

Rachel helps me up. At least I have one person I can count on and who respects my wishes.

We get all dolled up and put on almost-matching salwar kameez outfits. Mine is gold and hers is pink, the engagement ceremony colours. We don’t need to dress up for this as it’s just a routine visit to see the hall, but I always feel better when I look my best.

Rachel does my makeup and by some crazy miracle makes me look like I haven’t been crying all day.

I give her a hug. “Rachel, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

“I’m here for you always. You know that, right? You don’t have to wait until things get crazy to tell me things.”

“It’s just that work is so busy, and then all the engagement planning. I’ve been in over my head.”

“I know. Now you know for next time.” She gives my shoulders a squeeze.

I hope there’s never a next time when it comes to the shit I’ve been through.