Page 81 of Everything She Wanted

“Yeah, Nisha. What’s going on between you two?”

A long, drawn-out pause unfolds, and just when I think I can’t take it anymore, he replies.

“Nothing. We’re colleagues. I don’t think of her like that.” His voice is flippant and dismissive.

Heat starts rising to my cheeks when I think back to us in his hotel room just this past weekend. How Nick looked at me with those piercing eyes that made me forget everything. Even the day etched with disappointment from the failed investor pitches and my persistent self-doubt faded away into oblivion. All that was left was pure desire and desperate longing. For a moment, all my rational excuses of why I shouldn’t want this, want him, slipped away. Once we were alone in his room, he leaned in, his body just inches from mine, and I moved closer as if we were drawn together by an invisible force. I held my breath as he brought his fingertips to my face and then his thumb to my lower lip in one fluid motion, caressing it softly. Barely a touch, but I shivered like he was exploring the most sensual parts of me. My arm seemed to move of its own accord, my hand reaching up and my manicured nails brushing through his soft, golden blonde hair and then landing on his shoulder, needing to feel his solid form, an anchor to ground me before I floated away.

The stranger’s voice cuts through my swirling thoughts.

“Bullshit. I see the way you look at her.”

“Seriously, she’s not my type at all.”

I freeze in place, my fingers clutched around my pen, with dread pooling in my gut as I remember how he leaned back into the cushions and pulled my hand down over his heart. It was beating wildly. I fell into him, resting my head on his broad chest. We stayed there suspended in time, neither of us wanting to break the spell or ruin the moment. It could have been minutes, or hours that passed, it didn’t matter. My body longed for more, but at the same time, this was enough. Having Nick’s arms around me should have felt awkward, foreign even, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Too intimate for what we weren’t to each other but not intimate enough for my rebellious heart. If I had him with me in the storage closet just for a few moments...

I remember desperately trying to build my resolve to pull away, to leave his room. Just for a moment, I told myself instead as I nestled deeper into his chest and took a strong whiff of his fresh, enticing pine scent. The one that captivated me so many months ago, and that I’ve wanted to douse myself in so many times since then. It was late and silent except for the rapid beat of his heart and mine. I took one final deep inhale and then untangled myself from his embrace. I got up from the couch, looking away as I said, “I should go.”

I heard him rustle behind me, and I urged my feet to move. I took one step toward the door before he grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward him.

“Stay.” His eyes were hungry, wild and unravelled, in a way I hadn’t seen before, and I felt this uninhibited urge to unravel him more.

He pulled me down into his lap, his hands moving up and down my thighs and his mouth just inches from mine. I was one moment away from making a very bad decision.

I continued to run my nails through his hair, and he closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip.

Just for a moment.

He opened his eyes, his gaze penetrating me. As I looked into the endless blue, moving away was not an option I could even fathom.

He wrapped my long ponytail around his hand, gently pulling it back as his lips skated down my neck. He kissed the soft spot between my collarbone before he moved up again, grazing the sensitive skin behind my ear.

“This is a bad idea,” I whispered slowly, even as I arched into him.

“Such a bad idea,” he whispered back as he pulled me closer toward him.

A second later, his mouth claimed mine, making me want to be his, if only for this moment. His kiss was deep and relentless, asking for more with every moment that passed. I gave him what he wanted too willingly because of what I was too afraid to admit: I wanted him too. Scarier still, I wanted this to mean something.

We eventually pulled away, breathless. Foreheads touching, bodies intertwined. He put his hands under my shirt and his fingertips brushed over my bare skin.

“You’re so fucking hot.” His voice was husky with desire.

He moved to the side and lay back, pulling me on top of him. I felt him hard beneath me and it was getting tougher each time, to walk away, to say no to this.

He’s chipped away at my defences bit by bit, and I’ve let him.

He rocked my hips against his and I knew I had to leave.

I scampered off him and rushed out the door, while he called after me. I slipped out without turning back to him and soon found myself alone, back in my room.

My fingers are wrapped so tightly around the pen that they’re starting to sweat. It all makes sense now. He didn’t say I was beautiful or stunning, just hot. An object to lust after. To desire. To conquer.

“Right,” the mystery voice continues. “I forgot your type is someone you only have to see for one night.” Laughter. “So, you won’t mind if I ask her out once my contract’s over?”

I don’t want to hear another word, but I’m on a collision course and all I can do is watch as every word of Nick’s confirms what I always feared. I’m not good enough. Not for someone like him, and the way things are going with Eshaan, maybe not for anyone.

“She’s seeing someone,” Nick says in a low voice, I can barely make out, even though I know they’re just outside.

Guilt courses through me as I think back to his fingertips lingering on my face, how he pulled me back into his embrace. It was so smooth, so seamless, and that’s because it had to be a practiced move. I fell for it, fell for him and his act.