Page 50 of Everything She Wanted

“What are you two squealing about?” Kin eyes us curiously.

“Oh, you know, reminiscing about old times.” I give Sunny a knowing look. “It was me before you, you know?”

“Right, I forgot you two were a thing.”

Nick gives us an intrigued look.

“Sit, we’ll fill you in.”

It all feels so easy with Nick. Too easy. That’s what I’m thinking when I slide into the backseat next to him when we head back to the hotel. I place my legs to dangle over his right thigh, and he brings one arm around my shoulders and his other around my hips. My skirt hitches too high, but I can’t bring myself to care. The buzz of alcohol is leaving my system, but the intoxication of him is still flooding it.

My heart feels light and free after the wins at work, Nick’s revelation, and spending the evening with Sunny and Kin, making me act recklessly now. For the first time in a long time, I’m more than just the demands, pressures, and expectations of being a woman; I’m a girl who wants to follow her heart and experience some joy, even if it’s fleeting.

Nick lowers his left hand to my leg, grasping it. His fingers and thumb are making enticing strokes along my inner thigh, moving higher each time.

“Did you have fun tonight?” he asks, his breath hot against my neck.

“So much fun.” I lean back to look up at him, my eyes shining with a light only for him.

The corner of his mouth lifts in a smile.

He’s moving his lips toward mine, and I close my eyes, anticipating his kiss, but the car abruptly stops. I open my eyes to see we’re right outside the hotel, and I slowly slide off Nick and out the door. I hear him thanking the driver, and then he’s behind me, and we’re walking into the lobby and then the elevator. Both are deserted at this hour, and I’m grateful for the privacy. The elevator doors close, and he’s hitting his floor button and then in another moment, he’s in front of me.

“Nightcap?”

His hand comes up to gently stroke my cheek like he can’t help but touch me, and the simple touch sends my heart racing. Being alone with him in a room is a bad idea for so many reasons, but right now, I can’t remember any of them.

“We could just hang out.”

I breathe a little easier knowing he’s not expecting anything, but it’s not him I’m worried about. “The seminars start at 9 a.m.,” I say.

“That’s what coffee is for,” he says, looking at me with so much intensity, I can’t look away. His gaze heats me up everywhere it lands.

His touch, his presence, and his attention are waking up parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. Parts that feel whole, complete, and enough, and it’s terrifying when all I’ve known is the opposite.

“Just one drink.”

I freeze in place, my mind refusing to let me cooperate while my heart beats without restraint, encouraging me to free-fall.

“I can’t.” I look away.

“Okay.”

He doesn’t push. If he did, I don’t think I could trust myself to say no.

“Sleep well,” he says, leaning in, his lips brushing against my cheek.

I can’t even respond or think when he’s this close to me, so I say nothing.

He presses my floor and leaves. I find myself staring at the closed doors. The elevator takes me a few more levels up, and I head to my room in a daze.

17. #FML

I’m staring out the airplane window at the tarmac, desperately trying to regulate my breathing and to get last night out of my head. It never should have happened, but it did, and now I don’t know what to do about it. The unease is building, knowing I crossed a line I never should have, but I also can’t ignore the intrigue and desire stirring within me.

I was distracted this morning when we divided up to attend different seminars and networking events to maximize exposure for the organization. I couldn’t focus on what I was there to do, no matter how hard I tried. I managed to at least make a few connections and exchange business cards, but I know I didn’t make the most of this opportunity. I need to get my head back in the game, but it’s not going to happen today.

“Mind if we switch seats? I’d love to sit with my friend.” I hear Nick’s voice speaking to the man next to me.