Page 39 of Everything She Wanted

“I thought you were going to stay at Shaan’s.” She looks at me questioningly.

“There was a work emergency, so I had to go in.”

She places a latte in front of me, along with some stevia, and stands across the counter.

I grab the mug and take a little inhale—dark cherry notes with hints of toasty caramel that take me back to last summer, when Rachel and I went fruit picking in the Okanagan. We had smoothies for days on end, made tarts with recipes we found on YouTube, and froze the berries and cherries. Even then they lasted for months. I miss those slow mornings we used to have before I spent most of my weekends with Eshaan.

“Oh, that’s right, you were on call this weekend.” I don’t know how Rachel keeps track of both of our busy schedules.

“I know, I should have changed it, but I had no idea something would actually come up.” I add a few drops of stevia and then take a sip. It’s glorious. Soft, subtly sweet, and decadent. My mind instantly drifts to Nick’s fingers gently touching my face. I pull myself back into this moment.

“Give yourself a break. You couldn’t have known.” She gives me a knowing look. “Is Shaan upset?”

“Yes.” I don’t elaborate because I already know that Rachel isn’t Shaan’s biggest fan.

“It’s just that weddings are such a big deal, culturally, and this was the first big family event I’ve been invited to. It was a chance for me to make a good first impression and I think I might have screwed it up.” I take another sip as worry replaces the momentary comfort from the coffee.

“You didn’t. I’m sure of it.” She looks me in the eyes.

“How do you know?”

“Because, seriously, Nish, you’re one of the kindest people I know.”

I want to say that she’s the only person who sees me that way.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this...”

I take another sip and brace myself.

“But you need to be able to talk to Shaan openly and honestly about what matters to you.” She pauses and then gives me a thoughtful look. “I know, I don’t have the best track record, but I’ve learned so much and I care about you. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. It’s uncomfortable and awkward at times, but it’s important to talk.”

I let her words land.

She’s right. I’ve spent most of my life avoiding conflict, being the good girl, and doing as I’m told, but over time, that’s only made me angry and resentful.

“You’re right, Rachel. I wanted to say I’m sorry about everything at the café last week.” I look at her and hope she can see how sorry I am.

“I’m sorry, too. I don’t want to push you. We’re all on our own journey, but we’re also here to learn from each other.”

I smile. Rachel, the online coach and creator, can turn anything into a teachable moment.

“Why are you smirking like that?”

“Oh, I’m so lucky that I have an amazing friend who cares so much.”

She gives me a curious look.

“I’d better call Shaan.”

I head back to my bedroom with my coffee in hand. He picks up on the first ring. “Glad you finally had a chance to call. Let me guess, you’re still working?”

I take a deep breath. I want to learn how to communicate and have a healthy relationship, and I know this will require patience.

“I’m home now, and I wanted to say I’m so sorry about last night. Nothing has ever come up when I’ve been on-call before, so I didn’t even think to change my shift. I will next time because you, us, that’s my priority.”

“Nish...”

“What is it?” My shoulders rise and tense at his tone.