Page 16 of Everything She Wanted

My hands shake as I slide the earrings on.

Alyssa adds a final silver shimmer to my lips and then steps behind me and runs her hand through my voluminous hair.

“We’re going to have to leave your hair like this.”

I nod. The other models had their hair slicked and perfectly in place. She sprays it down and is redoing the curls when Headset Guy comes rushes in.

“We need her out in five.”

Alyssa just nods. She hairsprays me with what must be half the bottle and helps me up. The outfit is gorgeous, but it feels like it weighs twenty pounds. She places the net chunni over my arms.

“Do you know how to walk the runway?”

“Kind of.”

“Sway your hips, keep your arms loose and give your best pouty face.”

I walk a few steps back from her and try it, but the skirt is so tight, I find it hard to sway my hips. I do my best anyway, thinking back to when my sister and I would stay up late to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

“No smile. Try slower, graceful steps.”

I’m terrified I’ll make a complete fool of myself. “Got it.”

I try again, and she nods.

“That will do.”

Fuck it. If I have to do this, I’m going to give it my all even if I feel like an imposter. I feel like that most of the time anyway.

The more I focus on who others need me to be, the easier my life is. Eshaan’s ready to commit to me, my mom is pleased with me these days, and even Tom’s giving me more responsibilities that are usually only reserved for leadership. With Eshaan, if I can be as low-maintenance as possible and not make a fuss, then things will continue to go smoothly. With my mom, if I stop going against the grain and questioning things like archaic cultural practices that make little sense to me, things will be better. At work, if I put in extra time and keep creating incredible results, they will notice. They’ll have to.

Even modelling right now in this massive show is something my friends back home would have jumped at. A chance to shine and be seen, and in my case, in a positive way for once. Maybe it’s time for me to step into the spotlight in all areas of my life instead of trying to stay in the shadows—to be the main character instead of a supporting cast member. This is something Fantasy Nisha would do. I’ve spent this whole year trying so hard to be her, and I know I need to keep it up until everything works out perfectly. I am already so close. Be who everyone else wants me to be. It is the secret to success—my success.

I swagger onto the runway in a way that I hope makes me look like a graceful, sexy model, and not a woman wearing an outfit a few sizes too small for her—a last-minute replacement who has no business being up here with these size-zero models.

Cheers erupt from the audience as I reach the far end and do a three-point turn, and it feels amazing. I really am Fantasy Nisha. I walk back lighter, holding my chin a little higher. I’m becoming so good at faking confidence and being someone I’m not—I’m even beginning to fool myself.

6. Bollywood is Calling

We settle in at a high-top table at the hotel’s top-floor restaurant, and I take in the view of glittering skyline. We attracted quite a bit of attention when we walked in wearing our traditional outfits. I had been about to change back into my saree, but Eshaan insisted that I wear the silver mermaid dress out for a drink with some of the event sponsors and his cousin, Anjali, who’s only in town for the weekend. It is probably worth thousands, so I’m being extra careful. Eshaan is deep in conversation with one of the sponsors. Anjali looks over at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

“You were amazing out there,” she says, squeezing my arm.

“Really?”

She gives me a look that says, Come on. “Yes, really. That outfit fits you like a glove, and it was so refreshing to see a real-life model, not just the stick figures.”

“Thanks, I think.”

I liked Anjali from the first moment we met. She’s extremely successful in her consulting business, travelling all over the world, hosting seminars, and speaking at conferences, while also finishing her MBA. I feel seen by her—she seems to understand me while the rest of Eshaan’s family just don’t get my ambitions.

The waitress takes our orders.

“Let’s go freshen up and see if there are any hot guys here.” She grins at me. “You can be my wing woman.”

I turn over to see Eshaan still engrossed in conversation, so we slip away, weaving through the tables.

“Hey, Bollywood.”