Page 129 of Everything She Wanted

“That’s amazing.”

I don’t tell her it was the trip I was supposed to take with my fiancé. “It really is.”

“Want to walk a bit more?”

“I’d love that.”

We pass a massive, ship-like structure with wood panelling and lush greenery outside.

“What’s that?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“That’s this incredible ship that’s been repurposed into a Nordic spa. You have to go there before you leave.” I think of the last Nordic spa I was in with Nick and my cheeks burn.

She pauses as if she’s pondering something. “You usually have to book in advance.” Her face lights up. “But my friend works there. I’m going to call her and see if she can fit you in. Is this evening okay?”

“That would be great.”

She steps away and makes the call as I stare at the sea and pretend not to listen. She comes back a moment later.

“Okay, you’re so lucky.” I feel anything but. “They just had a cancellation for six p.m., so we can head on over right now if you like.”

“Thank you.”

She smiles at me sweetly. “You’re so welcome.”

“I would join you, but I have to get to the university.”

It’s June, and it’s getting late, so I look at her curiously.

“Oh, I take evening classes during the summer so I can finish my degree sooner. Nick hates it and says I should just have fun, but he’s been helping me so much and I want to be able to take care of myself, you know?”

“I do know,” I tell her.

We hug and I’m sad.

I add her to the list of people who are leaving my life that I’m going to miss.

Shaan’s Dadi.

Nick.

Lucy.

And I head up to the sauna with my sad and heavy heart.

46. Better Now

I spend two hours using the sauna, and my body starts to detox. Not just all the alcohol, but my thoughts are lighter too, and that tight feeling that always seems to be lingering in my chest loosens.

Lucy’s friend is so welcoming, it fills my heart. She even gives me her employee discount, and I want to cry thinking of the kindness I’ve been shown today. It helps me believe in the universe and myself again.

My child, everything will be okay I hear Shaan’s Dadi’s voice in my head.

Maybe she’s right.

I finally charge my phone when I get back to the hotel but decide to wait until tomorrow to go through my messages. I order more room service, watch HGTV and stay away from the liquor menu, even though I could really use a drink. I fall asleep with the TV on and wake up at 5 a.m. to turn it off and snuggle back into bed, falling asleep again until just after nine.

Rachel’s right. It’s nice to spend time with myself, and for the first time, I’m able to enjoy my own company without being constantly distracted by work, my phone, or men—no matter how captivating they are, or one is in particular.