Page 126 of Everything She Wanted

She clicks away again on her computer and then hands me over two key cards.

“Enjoy your stay.”

“Oh, I will.” I give her my best smile and head to the elevators.

It’s the Harbour View Suite. Eshaan showed me the pictures online, but when I enter the suite, it’s breathtaking. There’s a small circular dining table off to the side with fresh flowers sitting on top, surrounded by cozy beige chairs. The living room is right next to it, with a couch, and cushy armchair. Both are tastefully decorated with violet pillows.

I leave my bag at the front and slip off my shoes as I wander around, heading into the bedroom off to the side. It has a massive king-size bed, with ornate lamps and a gorgeous floral painting on the wall, but what gets me the most is the view from the room. It’s the Inner Harbour. The gleaming white boats softly rock in the water, like they’re dancing to music only they can hear. Only a small knot keeps them moored. I dream of unmooring, slipping off my restraints and finding freedom. Maybe this is my chance to free myself from all that no longer serves me and embrace what does.

I collapse on the bed and close my eyes and for once, feel like I might actually be okay. I lie there for a while until hunger gnaws at me and I wander back to the living room and find the room service menu. I order honey garlic chicken wings, buttermilk fried calamari, truffle fries and the ten-layer chocolate cake, because why not. It’s time to let myself indulge in all my desires.

After my private feast, I soak in the tub, letting the water wash away all the hurt, discomfort, and pain of everything. It’s still there after I do, but the torment of emotions softens a little, giving me a slight reprieve.

I haven’t charged my phone and don’t want to just yet.

I will give myself today and maybe tomorrow too, before dealing with everything. I fall into a deep sleep and awake in the night after dreaming about a different ending for me the night of the engagement. One that includes Nick. But he’s not here and I cry softly into my pillow wishing that he was.

45. Me Time

After breakfast in bed, I doll myself up, even though I still feel like a disaster wearing a cute short floral dress with sneakers and a jean jacket. I don’t wear as much makeup as I normally do—it’s time to let some of the real me shine through. No more masks or pretending, just the real Nisha Dhaliwal.

When I finally head outside, it’s a sunny day, and the streets are busy with traffic and tourists. It’s nice to melt into the hubbub around me.

I wander the grounds around the hotel and find a hidden garden. I sit down on a bench for I don’t know how long, letting nature soothe me the way it always does. The flourishing greenery brings a small part of me back online as I do.

I explore the area until I find a cute coffee shop tucked out of the way. It’s unassuming and further away from the city centre, but it’s busy. I walk in and order my extra-sweet matcha latte and then wander back to the downtown core where I see a huge Lululemon storefront just across from my hotel. Retail therapy seems enticing. It’s been so long since I bought anything other than work clothes, so I take a final sip of my latte to energize me, discard the cup, and walk in.

I start piling yoga pants, tanks, and lightweight jackets on my arm when a saleswoman approaches me.

“Can I get a room started for you?” I turn around to see a tall, slim, beautiful blonde standing next to me with a smile, and I just stare. Those eyes. Nick’s eyes.

She looks closely at me too, and surprisingly, she remembers me—though I’m not sure if I want her to.

“Oh, hi. Nisha, right? We met a few months ago at brunch. Wait, what was the place called...” She starts tapping her foot, trying to think of it. “Patisserie something.”

I almost want to deny it and leave, but I’m done hiding and lying.

“Yes. It was L’Atelier Patisserie. Hi Lucy. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too.” She beams at me.

“Here, let me take that.” She takes the pile. “Are you ready to try these on, or would you like to look around more?”

“I’m ready.” I follow her to the change room as she hangs my clothes up nicely and writes ‘Nisha’ outside of the change room door.

“I’ll check on you in a moment, but holler if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” I slip inside the room and try on the pants first, and even though it’s my usual size, they’re a little loose. I know I haven’t been eating well with everything going on.

There’s a knock at the door. “Nisha, how’s everything fitting in there?”

“Actually, could I get a smaller size in these pants? I open the door and give her the other two and point to the ones I’m wearing.

“Sure thing.”

I’m debating on what to try next, looking through the tops, and then finally settle on the racerback; I’ve always wanted one. I slip it on before Lucy’s back at the door.

“I have those pants here for you.”