Page 111 of Everything She Wanted

“Yes.”

“Close your eyes.”

He brings his thumb softly to my lips, then moves his knuckles across my checks, presses the pads of his fingers gently to my eyelashes, and brushes his fingers through my hair, taking care to place my long hair back out of my face. Another tear escapes. He leans in and kisses it away, and when he’s done, I press my lips to his. I will allow myself this.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he whispers.

I take a deep breath, not wanting anything to disturb this moment I built for us.

“I’m getting engaged.”

“I know.”

“It’s next week.”

“What? I thought it was next month.”

“We had to move it up.”

His eyes widen with surprise and then flicker with sorrow.

“I just wanted you to hear it from me first.”

He nods, looking away as he tries and fails to compose himself.

“Nisha,” he says my name like a prayer. “You deserve every happiness and to have someone who loves you so much and is ready to commit to you in every way you want and need.” He brushes his fingers across mine, pausing for a few moments like he’s trying to find the right words to say before he continues. “I don’t know if I could ever be that person for you.” He looks away, but I take his chin and turn his head toward me.

I can’t stop the question that slips from my mouth. “Why?” I hate how desperate my voice sounds.

“I don’t know if I could play the part.” His ocean blue eyes turn icy.

“Would anything change your mind?”

Would anyone?

“It’s just that my parents had a difficult relationship, and it was hard on my mom. So hard for her and for all of us.”

“You’re not your dad,” I venture. My voice small.

He shakes his head as he replies, “This way I never will be.”

His face is grim, resolute, and I can’t bring myself to push him more on this, to open myself up in this way when he’s already made up his mind.

I nod this time, looking into his eyes as his words shatter my heart.

“Nick.” I take his hand. “Thank you for picking me up when I was at my lowest and struggling to believe in myself, and for encouraging me to go for what I want when I was terrified to.”

I tighten my grip.

What I want is you.

“I’ll never forget your kindness and everything you’ve done for me.” My voice cracks and I look up to stop the tears.

I’ll never forget you.

I slowly get up, knowing I’ve done what I came here to do, and now it’s time to leave and start my new life—the life I always wanted.

Our drinks sit untouched, and I think it’s a shame we didn’t finish them, and now we’ll never get to. I walk to the front door and Nick holds it open for me.